Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both view and give your own op

Recently, group activities like after school class have been issued between parents. Some of them think that children should participate in the class, however, others disagree with the agenda. In my opinion, it is certain that the activities are helpful to the child developing their inner possibility.
There are benefits to make children do what they want in their free time. It can develop their creativity. In their time, no one bothers them, so they try to do anything they want and think themselves. From the process, they can find a new one or improve something learned in their class.
Also, they are less exposed to stress. In our society, a problem with stress becomes a big issue. Excerpt from the news, stress can occur the brain fog that drops one's ability to think. So the child who set free from something can be safe from a social problem.
As for the advocate of group activities, children can raise the ability to cooperate with others. Participating in a certain group, they meet conflict with others and solve it with them. This ability is essential when they grow up.
Moreover, they can find potential aptitude from the work. In the group, there are some activities rarely done by oneself due to high cost or hard to access. They may have found a new interest or eager to do it to become an expert.
I had an experience in finding my interest from the activities which I do not want to do. Thus I strongly support the idea that children should participate in some of the activities.
As has been demonstrated, I understand opposite has many advantages, but there are many reasons including my experience to support the agenda that group activities are necessary.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 163, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ress can occur the brain fog that drops ones ability to think. So the child who set ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 90, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...e activities which I do not want to do. Thus I strongly support the idea that childr...
^^^^
Line 6, column 159, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...dea that children should participate in some of the activities. As has been demonstrated, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, may, moreover, so, thus, as for, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 24.0651302605 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1399.0 1615.20841683 87% => OK
No of words: 292.0 315.596192385 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79109589041 5.12529762239 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13376432452 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58734406585 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.547945205479 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 436.5 506.74238477 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.576911224 49.4020404114 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 69.95 106.682146367 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.6 20.7667163134 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.3 7.06120827912 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.38176352705 160% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.67935871743 150% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175211558337 0.244688304435 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0590665186502 0.084324248473 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0557850450963 0.0667982634062 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0846730912708 0.151304729494 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0602505298027 0.056905535591 106% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.4 13.0946893788 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 50.2224549098 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 11.3001002004 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.91 12.4159519038 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.58950901804 86% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 78.4519038076 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.