Some people think that the government is wasting on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere To what extent do you agree with this

Essay topics:

Some people think that the government is wasting on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.
To what extent do you agree with this?

In my thought spending money for arts has worth, due to this idea that arts, itself is a language, which contribute people to socialize better with individuals from various country with different cultures.
Communicating with other persons evolve many benefits, such as enhancing knowledge about interaction between societies, attracting may tourism to the place with a specific and compelling arts.
As I reside in Shiraz, I have been going to Bazaar Vakil many times since I was a child. During my commutes, the highlighted point is the tourists who come there and represent their inclined, eager, enthusiast on the traditional handicrafts and articrafts being there. This issue straightforward answered the question. By advancing in arts the tourism industry can be improved and the economy of that region or country enhanced which is a direct impact and effect on the rate of hiring. Furthermore, when individuals have occupation, they are more decisive with tranquil and serene mind, making decision for them become so easily. Since they have not any distractor factors about economic conditions.
Definitely, with prevailing the calmness and peaceful mind and being far away from the hectic daily life and continuing the circulation in a community, most importance issues be solved over the time.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 631, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ing decision for them become so easily. Since they have not any distractor factors ab...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, may, so, thus, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 7.85571142285 25% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 24.0651302605 58% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 41.998997996 67% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1101.0 1615.20841683 68% => OK
No of words: 205.0 315.596192385 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37073170732 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.78388967377 4.20363070211 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89330392709 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 176.041082164 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.712195121951 0.561755894193 127% => OK
syllable_count: 341.1 506.74238477 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 16.0721442886 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.3601733124 49.4020404114 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.333333333 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7777777778 20.7667163134 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 7.06120827912 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162282510776 0.244688304435 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586056512737 0.084324248473 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591181370621 0.0667982634062 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.097399816184 0.151304729494 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0596767810395 0.056905535591 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 13.0946893788 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.4159519038 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.97 8.58950901804 116% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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More content wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.