Do you agree or disagree computer games is waste of time and children should not be allowed to play

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Do you agree or disagree computer games is waste of time and children should not be allowed to play

From the dawn of modernization, computer’s part in human's life is indispensably ever increasing day in, day out. These days, there are huge investments in computer games industry as a result of considerable attention to computer games. A relevant question that might arise her is whether playing computer games is abuse of time or it can be beneficial. Personally, I am on the belief that the latter profits overshadows those of the former. Following paragraphs would explicates my personal stance.

To commence with, one of the compelling reasons to support my prevailing view is that there are a myriads of games designed to strength intellectual abilities and decision making in younger ages that we cannot turn blind eyes on. In general, computer games penetrates almost to every facet of human life from all walks of life. To elucidate on, under observation of a keen eye which can differ effective and useful games from the rest, we can set a fertile ground for them and then we would witness them flourish those presumed abilities. With wise choices of computer games, we would facilitate a breeding ground for children to experience life ebbs and flows on their own beforehand in order to learn how to shoulder the responsibility of doing more important activities in the future. As a case in point, the result of a research concerning effects of playing computer games on children unveiled the fact that children who played them could better adapt themselves to varying circumstances in comparison to ones who had not played.

Alongside with the first reason elaborated above, the significance of its vital role in learning social abilities while playing online games as a member of a group cannot be underestimated when this issue is delved into. Broadly speaking, this kind of games facilitates the process to obey a set of principles which is to follow group profits. Delving further into the issue, this would make them to work in close co-operation with their teammates and that is to find their part as a member to build their image of themselves as an important part of a society. However, it should be considered that what was elaborated may not extends to all contents. In some cases not only does it cause abnormal behaviors, but also can adversely affect children, if the game is not appropriate one considering their age, spirit, and emotions.

Thoroughly analyzed the reasons, although a myriad of sophisticated people entitle to the otherwise, I reiterate that its disadvantages can be neglected by considering innumerable benefits. To recapitulate, not only can it train them to be a part of society, but also it provides them a fertile ground to obtain new abilities.

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would explicates my personal stance.
would explicate my personal stance.

we would witness them flourish those presumed abilities
Description: Check out books how to use 'flourish'

may not extends to all contents
may not extend to all contents

In some cases not only does it cause abnormal behaviors, but also can adversely affect children, if the game is not appropriate one considering their age, spirit, and emotions.
Description: can you re-write the sentences? a lot of errors

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Don't use 'not only...but also...' a lot of times in one essay. One time is enough.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2204 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.88 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.544 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5