Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the modern era entertainers and athletes play an important role in every society. Nowadays, there has been a controversial topic that whether famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy or not. I strongly believe that celebrated entertainers and athletes, just like other people, need to have privacy and deserve that. I feel this way for two important reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, with more privacy celebrated people can concentrate much better on their career. To be more specific, everyone gets a lot better results when they are in complete quiet situation. In the other words, any interruption by other people would cause you distraction thus it will not bring you results as well as you need. My own experience demonstrates this concept. Some years ago, when I was a senior industrial engineering student, my classmate and I intended to attend toefl exam. My whole family were aware of that and it caused me a lot of trouble. They always distracted me when I was studying to wish me luck. Even though they had a good intention, their behavior was making me uncomfortable and disturbing my focus. My friend on the other hand, did not tell anyone in his family about the exam and had peaceful situation unlike me. After the exam, I found out that he got much higher grades than me. this experience taught me that if I had more privacy during my studying period, I would get better result of the exam.
Secondly, without enough privacy celebrated people will have a stressful life. I mean, giving them more privacy, not only does help them focus better on their career, it also helps them to have a healthier life by pushing force the barriers of stressful situations. To illustrate, I was a famous football player in my city. my neighbors always expected me to score a goal in every matches. It caused me a lot of pressure and I felt depressed. This example shows that how hard it is to live, when you do not have enough privacy.
To sum up, I firmly believe that it is much better to give celebrated people more privacy. This is because they can focus more on their career and it helps them to remain healthy.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-03 | tststs | 76 | view |
| 2022-10-25 | _sta | 66 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...as a famous football player in my city. my neighbors always expected me to score a...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, second, secondly, so, thus, well, i feel, i mean, as well as, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1808.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72062663185 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61058482857 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.543080939948 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 568.8 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.9386226122 48.9658058833 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.6086956522 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.652173913 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.26086956522 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.19825113757 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574389739393 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0648315118665 0.0737576698707 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131096750385 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0710050009347 0.0645574589148 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.8 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.