Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this progressive and sophisticated era in which we are living movies and television are playing important roles in our lives. There has been a controversial debate among intellectuals as to whether the negative effects of media are more than its positive effects. From my perspective, movies have destructive impacts on people especially juveniles, and two reasons to support my view point are elaborated upon hereunder.
To begin with, media will gradually change some moral principles and disciplines and make people to accept changes which are destructive. It is not a secret to anyone that people living in today's world are familiar with different aspects of technology and young people are interested in watching different movies in order to spend their leisure time. Obviously, spending a huge amount of time doing the same activity, youth will be influenced by the concepts presenting by movies, which are usually wrong and bad information, so people's opinions and believes will alter and be replaced by movies' point of views. To put it in more vivid picture, my younger sister was obsessed with watching TV all the rime. When she was in high school, her favorite movie was about a girl who was rude and slothful; having watched such a movie, my sister turned into impolite and lazy person, who did not care about other people except herself. Had my sister not watched the movie, she would not have had such a weird personality. As you can see, since young people are being influenced quickly by media and TV presents wrong and negative concepts, juveniles and young people are more likely to have different personalities.
Furthermore, movies that are being shown On TV damage people's mental health. It is crystal clear that story in every movie is not usually real and the majority of movies are science-fiction movies or fantastic ones. These kinds of movies increase the expectations of young individuals since they will try to be like characters of amazing movies, but when they cannot reach to the goal, they will have definitely some problems since they cannot be satisfied with themselves, so society will be full of people not having enough confidence and self-esteem. There is an example to illustrate this claim; we are witnessing that actors in movies are so beautiful and handsome. They are so complete and great that makes other juveniles not to have good confidence since they do not see themselves as powerful and pretty as them, which proving some health problems like depression. No longer do individuals try to change their appearance by harmful surgeries and different operations, unfortunately they can be satisfied because they should solve the root cause of their problems which is depression or other kinds of mental problems.
In sum, having aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I do agree that the disadvantages of movies and media outweigh their advantages. Not only do people's important moral principles change, they also have difficulty being happy.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 216, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...ontroversial debate among intellectuals as to whether the negative effects of media are more ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, so, as to, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 15.1003584229 225% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2545.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 496.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1310483871 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77944501901 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51814516129 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 798.3 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.0222594286 48.9658058833 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.388888889 100.406767564 141% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5555555556 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.88888888889 5.45110844103 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235197542721 0.236089414692 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0785316326569 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0489458132158 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15788499601 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0397274334429 0.0645574589148 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 11.7677419355 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 86.8835125448 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.