Jobs, the foundation of a quality life, have always been a topic that has sparked off widespread public debates, recently in particular over whether young adults should take various jobs before making a final decision. Sticking to one job from beginning to end, from many people’s viewpoints, is the best for young adults. In opposition to their opinions, my perspective is that young people should try different jobs before they finally decide their career path, because of the benefits to obtain a good job and get promoted at work.
A high priority is that taking different jobs helps young adults to get a decent job, by letting them learn knowledge and find out their real interests. To begin with, the experience of working in different fields will provide young people a large quantity of knowledge. To be more specific, different occupations will encourage young adults to write projects, design software and boost sales, during which they can acquire a wide range of expertise; in contrast, such knowledge will not be obtained in a stable long-term job. Moreover, taking different kinds of jobs will help people to identify their true interests. In detail, after working in different companies, people will get a taste of features of those jobs and think about if they are truly interested in those jobs or not; on the other hand, will they have the chance to find out their inner desire if they only stick to one job?
Equally importantly, working in different companies help young people to get promotion, since they will hone valuable skills and expand their circle of friends. Initially, employees can cultivate skills that are required for work after doing various jobs. In detail, by taking different jobs, employees will obtain communication skills, multi-tasking skills and leadership; however, it would be hard for them to develop such skills if they do repetitive work on the same occupation year and year. In addition, taking up diversified positions helps young employees make friends with people from all walks of life. Never can we ignore the fact that young employees, if they work in the same company over the years, will only remain friends will a certain number of co-workers; on the other hand, trying different jobs, young people, exchange ideas and interacting with co-workers from different companies, tend to establish and strengthen bonds.
The arguments above, undoubtedly, point to the conclusion that young people should engage in different jobs before they take a career in the long term.
- TOEFL T P O 42 Integrated Writing Task 3
- Do you agree or disagree It is easier for parents to raise children than it was 50 years ago 73
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career 78
- Which do you prefer with the same rate of pay an interesting and challenging job with less vacation or a job with more vacation time but less fun 73
- Do you agree or disagree Two people can still become good friends if one of them has more money than the other one does 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Equally,
...sire if they only stick to one job? Equally importantly, working in different compa...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, however, if, moreover, so, then, in addition, in contrast, in particular, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 414.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13285024155 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60013917015 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528985507246 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 626.4 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 16.0 4.94265232975 324% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.5796184918 48.9658058833 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.785714286 100.406767564 151% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.5714285714 20.6045352989 144% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.21428571429 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.361017478943 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.149310234969 0.076458572812 195% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.090327550635 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.280295814051 0.150856017488 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0914625370492 0.0645574589148 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 11.7677419355 149% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 58.1214874552 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.07 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.