Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In addition to their homework, children need to participate in the activities which are related to sports and school activities; however, they should have free time for whatever they want to do.
In our modern scientific world, education is a crucial juncture of people’s life. Human beings have had constant concern about learning ways to improve their life since the dawn of humanity. There is a famous proverb which states “Pen is mightier than the sword.” With this in mind people and ruling class have employed several approach to improve their educational system. Nowadays, experts have been involved about whether or not the current educational system is efficient. In this regard, some of them claim that students should be given enough time to do whatever they want. While, others believe otherwise. The idea to which I subscribe is that students should have extra time to pursue their hobbies along with their school assignment and other activities related to their schools. My opinion is based on quite a few reasons, three conspicuous ones of which have been elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, students learn much information if they have more time. Thank to development of science and technology, a great number of information sources have been emerged namely television, the Internet, and social networks, to name but a few which can pave the way for learning thoroughly. For example, my sister, who is high school student, tend to spend several hours searching and studying new findings about her favorite course—mathematics. By doing so, she is highly well-educated. However, if students use all of their time fulfilling their school assignments, no time will remain for them to obtain more information. With this in mind students should be given more free time, for they tend to do not take their leisure time for granted.
Additionally, students, like other adults, need to enjoy entertainment, and if they do not have adequate time, they will be deprived of having time and information. Indeed, they can be able to spend their free time to go parks, play video games, and watch cartoons, to name but three, which leads to healthier life both mentally and physically, thereby learning in an appropriate manner. In contrast, students who do not have enough entertainment usually suffer from mental disease, which exert a negative influence on their learning process. Statistics also demonstrate that students enjoying entertainment tend to have a better educational and academic performance.
Eventually, by giving students extra time, they can have better feelings and emotions. In fact, they can spend more time with their parents and relatives, which have many advantages, that is, become hopefulness, and release their stress, tension and so on. There is Turkish proverb that states “It is the hopefulness that gives a man to attempt to follow their dreams,” which is indicative of the importance having proper emotions for reaching success, and students can obtain this feelings if they have healthful life that results from having enough time.
To sum up, I have penchant for the idea that students must have sufficient time for other activities rather than school assignments on the grounds that it may lead to being informative and knowledgeable, having fun, and being able to spend more time with their parents Therefore, it is highly recommended that policy makers give more time to student, which results in more efficient educational system.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 336, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun approach seems to be countable; consider using: 'several approaches'.
Suggestion: several approaches
...d people and ruling class have employed several approach to improve their educational system. No...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 433, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...adays, experts have been involved about whether or not the current educational system is effic...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 750, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ot take their leisure time for granted. Additionally, students, like other adult...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 363, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an appropriate manner" with adverb for "appropriate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ntally and physically, thereby learning in an appropriate manner. In contrast, students who do not have ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 373, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
... a man to attempt to follow their dreams,' which is indicative of the importance ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 488, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...aching success, and students can obtain this feelings if they have healthful life th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, while, for example, in contrast, in fact, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2806.0 1977.66487455 142% => OK
No of words: 531.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28436911488 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80035803286 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8528531271 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 271.0 212.727598566 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510357815443 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 843.3 618.680645161 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 82.9903036256 48.9658058833 169% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.545454545 100.406767564 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1363636364 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.27272727273 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345436744158 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114266531512 0.076458572812 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0797767927158 0.0737576698707 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.218224544426 0.150856017488 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0350862321109 0.0645574589148 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.87 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 86.8835125448 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.