Nowadays, children rely too much on technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment. playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development.
Technology today is part of our everyday life. We are surrounded by it and we cannot live without it. Children specially depent too much on the technology for their entertainment. They rarely go outdoors and play with their friends or toys. This is a serious problem because playing with their peers will improve their skills.
For one thing, when kids play with their friends they learn communication skills. However, they do not have the opportunity for such an improvement when they play video games. During playing the video games, they are only thinking of their own success and concentrating on their own benefits. Therefore, after a while, they will become self-oriented and they will not be able to communicate with others. They will face so many problems in the future with their marriages, careers, and so forth. On the other hand, children that go outside and play with their friends gain many different experiences. For example, imagine a group of friends that confront a group of people who want to fight with them. They feel the urge to protect themselves, so they support each other against the strangers. These children learn the value of solidarity and unity, therefore, they will always seek this value in their lives. Had they spent their time at home playing video games, they would not have learned such a precious reality.
Furthermore, playing video games will cause obesity and other problems for children, while going outside and having physical activity is useful for their health. Kids who stay at home playing video games will suffer from many different diseases in their adulthood. This is because physical activity burns the extra fat in the body. But when kids do not move, this fat will be stored in their bodies. It will accumulate in their vessels and subject them to heart attack early in their lives. However, children who exercise regularly and play active games would have healthier bodies and brains. Their would learn better than kids that do not have physical activity. Therefore, they would be more likely to be successful in the future. Not only does success need effort but also it needs physical and mental health.
Overall, I strongly believe that all forms of technology should be used in a controlled way. Overusing things like video games might seem at first to be harmless. However, it would cause severe problems for people in the long run. Children had better play with their toys and friends because this way they would have the opportunity to enhance their social skills and stay both mentally and physically healthy.
- The Salton Sea in California is actually a salty inland lake. The level of salt in the lake's water—what scientists call its salinity—has been increasing steadily for years because the lake's water is evaporating faster than it is being repl 90
- Compare and contrast your way of your life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying for the next generations? 70
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. 70
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 73
- Nowadays, children rely too much on technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment. playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development. 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 573, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...utside and play with their friends gain many different experiences. For example, imagine a gro...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 221, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...me playing video games will suffer from many different diseases in their adulthood. This is be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, while, for example, for one thing, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 9.8082437276 194% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2144.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 431.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97447795824 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41434684493 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487238979118 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 632.7 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.673812094 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.5714285714 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.3928571429 20.6045352989 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96428571429 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.273411446416 0.236089414692 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0883570163673 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0758754522722 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201408262759 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0245065985847 0.0645574589148 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.25 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.