People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing thing they like to do- rather than doing things they should do.
Views differ when it comes to activities of people they should do. Plenty number of people are inclined toward the idea that people allocate most of their time on personal enjoyment. However, others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that people prefer to do things they should do. In my perspective, people spend too much time on doing things they should do rather than personal enjoyment. I will pinpoint the most outstanding reason in the following paragraphs.
The first reason worth mentioning is that nowadays great number of people have hectic life since they have personal and financial problem. Because of that they have to allocate most of their time on their career which enable them to provide convinience facilities for their family member and make their life easier. Therefore, instead of doing what they enjoy, they do things they should. For example, my cousin and me hanging out all of our time together. We talked about our dreams, secrets and goals in our lifes and we enjoyed it so much. But after he got married, he find out he has other responsibliy too, so instead of doing what he likes, he perfors the activities he should do.
The further subtle point is that many students try to make a bright future for themselves by studying hard which is not something that they enjoy it. With the development of the technology, finding a excellent career is become difficult for many students. Hence, instead of going out with their friend, attend in parties and travel, they concentrate their time and energy on study which enhance their knowledge and improve their chance in the future to find a suitable job. For instance, one of my friend in university never go out with us to have fun. He always study more harder than any of us which make us mock him. After few years, since he has better experience and knowledge than us he got accepted in one of the best company in our city with high salary. Therefore, he progress better than all of us by doing things he should do in that time period.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, it is extremely beneficials for people to do what they should do in any specific time since not only many people need to increase their wage for their finacnial problem but also they can have a better future.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-17 | M. MEHRABI KERMANI | 60 | view |
| 2023-04-14 | sonyeoso | 85 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | Dat_Nguyen | 71 | view |
| 2023-01-14 | Hossein2000 | 85 | view |
| 2022-11-17 | rpinisetti8 | 70 | view |
- TPO 5 3
- TOEFL Sample essay integrated essay from TPO5 3
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing thing they like to do rather than doing things they should do 61
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing thing they like to do rather than doing things they should do 66
- Agree or disagree At universities and college sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 572, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'finds'.
Suggestion: finds
...t so much. But after he got married, he find out he has other responsibliy too, so i...
^^^^
Line 3, column 198, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... development of the technology, finding a excellent career is become difficult fo...
^
Line 3, column 563, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'studies'.
Suggestion: studies
...r go out with us to have fun. He always study more harder than any of us which make u...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 569, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'harder' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: harder
...ut with us to have fun. He always study more harder than any of us which make us mock him. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 777, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'progresses'.
Suggestion: progresses
...ur city with high salary. Therefore, he progress better than all of us by doing things h...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, so, therefore, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1896.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 403.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7047146402 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43334379087 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493796526055 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 585.9 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.4107696688 48.9658058833 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.7894736842 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2105263158 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.36842105263 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.450605050609 0.236089414692 191% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.168762283613 0.076458572812 221% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.207760769009 0.0737576698707 282% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.331278133208 0.150856017488 220% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.165351960689 0.0645574589148 256% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.