People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
I desagree with the statement that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do – rather than doing things they should do. I believe that people are more worry nowdays than in the past and It is a point to contribue to them spend time on other things, instead of enjoyment-doing. There are two reasons to support my opinion.
First of all, in my personal opinion, young people are spend much time in them studying than other things. For example, in my university, I have seen many students worry with them graduations, and much time they are health with assigments over of necessary to be finish and spend. I want say that, nowdays, teenagers are spend them time in a university, over of necessary and this is not exactly good, because can prejudicate them life, like Japan, that have a high indice to teenagers’s suicide because It’s much bad Power them.
In the second place, some people could desagree with me, but in my point of view, the adults are more worry with the sucess in them works than enjoyment. Same graduation, the adults want always be much, much sucess, much challanges and, of course, get many money. Rather than enjoy time to go to the beach, to mall, to watch a film, to stay with family and other things, the adults prefer job all time and win many Money, them create a layer of consurmer. A personal example It is my father, instead of get out with me and my family on weekends, he prefer stay at home and calculate credits, payments and another. I think this much bad because I never have time to enjoy with him and he do not enjoy his life with good programs.
In conclusion, there are my reasons to support my mind about desagree with the statement that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do- rather than doing things they should do. I agree that all the people have compromiss and plans to follow in a life, even though, I think that sometimes, people have enjoy the life.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-23 | jewel | 73 | view |
| 2020-01-02 | m.shahbazi | 60 | view |
| 2019-12-31 | savikx | 78 | view |
| 2019-12-15 | fafar | 88 | view |
| 2019-12-12 | sandeshbhandari2 | 70 | view |
- TPO-16 - Integrated Writing Task 85
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- Independent Task from Toefl Sampler 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...are two reasons to support my opinion. First of all, in my personal opinion, yo...
^^^
Line 3, column 21, Rule ID: PERSONAL_OPINION_FRIENDSHIP[1]
Message: Use simply 'opinion'.
Suggestion: opinion
...ort my opinion. First of all, in my personal opinion, young people are spend much time in th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 322, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'spent'.
Suggestion: spent
...I want say that, nowdays, teenagers are spend them time in a university, over of nece...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 253, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...ss, much challanges and, of course, get many money. Rather than enjoy time to go to ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 253, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much money', 'a good deal of money'.
Suggestion: much money; a good deal of money
...ss, much challanges and, of course, get many money. Rather than enjoy time to go to the be...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
... the adults prefer job all time and win many Money, them create a layer of consurmer...
^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun Money seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much Money', 'a good deal of Money'.
Suggestion: much Money; a good deal of Money
... the adults prefer job all time and win many Money, them create a layer of consurmer. A pe...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 550, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'prefers'.
Suggestion: prefers
...t with me and my family on weekends, he prefer stay at home and calculate credits, pay...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 688, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'does'.
Suggestion: does
...ever have time to enjoy with him and he do not enjoy his life with good programs. ...
^^
Line 7, column 345, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'enjoyed'.
Suggestion: enjoyed
...gh, I think that sometimes, people have enjoy the life.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, second, so, for example, i think, in conclusion, of course, first of all, in the second place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1651.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 358.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.61173184358 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50787125773 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.45251396648 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 504.9 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 51.9535523101 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.0 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5384615385 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.38461538462 5.45110844103 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.486193917068 0.236089414692 206% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.196525287246 0.076458572812 257% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.284906342577 0.0737576698707 386% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.408489821762 0.150856017488 271% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.270532840522 0.0645574589148 419% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.99 58.1214874552 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.18 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 86.8835125448 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.