A piece of jewelry or a ticket for a concert?

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A piece of jewelry or a ticket for a concert?

If somebody is giving away gift money with two choices of, jewelry or a ticket of concert, many people will raise their eyebrows in an awe. Its attitude of the people which decides, how and when to spend the money. Some enjoys the music, so they will buy a ticket. Some, like me, believes in an investment so will buy a piece of jewelry. I would like to substantiate my conclusion from following perspective.

First, if I am considering to buy a jewelry, I will do my math like What type of jewel I want to buy? What will be its cost after 5 years? Is it really worth of spending money in this type of jewelry? Usually, after deciding market value, I buy jewelry. Diamond and gold jewelries are always my weak point. I believe in “saving money for rainy days.” In converse, if I buy a ticket of concert, its value is not going to be same after 5 years. Investing money in good thing, like jewel is a thrift idea.

Second, now a days, young generation believes in “live a life, like a king” and keep on forgetting that we need to save money for our retirement. On this point, some people will say” we are very young for that” but in my view, “it takes a long to fill the ocean.” Though I am a big fan of music, I would rather go for an investment. My collection of jewelry is huge and I always like to add some elegant pieces. I attend many different functions like marriage , parties. I go to the official meeting. On all these occasions, I need jewelry according the venue. In that case I need more collection. But when ever I invest , I do it wisely.

In a nutshell, in my opinion, one should think about the future. Prosperous life comes only after saving. Instead of a concert, saving money in a piece of jewel will always be a thoughtful idea.Considering all the points above, I will visit a jewelry shop, rather than spending an evening for a concert.

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flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.96 21.0

better to have 5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3
para 5: conclusion

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1444 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.138 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.365 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.96 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.676 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.462 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5