Compared to the past, people have moved to cities and lived separately from their parents due to rapid urbanization. While it becomes more common for young people to live independently from their parents, I believe the extended family still plays an important role in parenting and strengthening the family bond.
First, young parents need the help of their extended families because most parents are struggling with balancing parenting and working. While most women could focus on parenting and doing housework as housewives in the past, more women have to keep working to support their families even after they get married and have their children. Since they have problems finding enough time and energy to take care of their children and housework besides their jobs to do, they desperately need the support of their extended family. With the aid of their extended family, it is possible to save money to rely on baby sitters and after schools to take care of their children. Moreover, interacting with extended family can help children to feel secure at their homes, which enhances child development.
Second, the longer humans live, the more support they need from their families. Due to the advancement in medical and health care services, human longevity has greatly extended. Although human lifestyles have been more convenient and independent because of those changes, they still need close relationships with their extended families. Although it is possible to depend on hospitals and daycare services rather than their extended family for the elderly to receive medical supports as long as they can afford, engaging with the extended family would increase the family bonds and improve both their physical and mental health. Since society has focused on individualism, people are more vulnerable to isolation and seek chances to feel a sense of belonging. Therefore, the elderly also need a close relationship with their families even though they live far away from each other.
Despite those needs in the strong tie with extended families, the physical distance is indeed a great barrier for families to strengthen their bonds. Once children move to cities to go to college and to work, they are less likely to return and stay in their hometowns where their parents live. Because there is a huge gap in a job and educational opportunities between cities and rural areas, it would be hard for young people to prioritize living close to their extended families in their hometowns. However, extended families still carry a significant role in supporting their families despite the physical barrier because of those difficulties working parents and the elderly face.
In conclusion, I disagree that the extended family is less important now than it was in the past because the extended family can enrich life for working parents and the elderly by strengthening human connections.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 686, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s working parents and the elderly face. In conclusion, I disagree that the exten...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, however, if, moreover, second, so, still, then, therefore, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2429.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22365591398 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61632503056 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468817204301 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 758.7 618.680645161 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.9722773681 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.944444444 100.406767564 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8333333333 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61111111111 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155415095669 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0656004030747 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0582360630523 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125529724927 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0703397755862 0.0645574589148 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 11.7677419355 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.