Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
No one can deny the importance of entertainers and athletes in our society. They are the most talented people among us. Some people think that the privacy provided to them these days is enough. However, I believe that famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy for their protection and prevent extra interruption of their fans.
To begin with, I think that the entertainment industry and sports can not flourish without the contribution of renown and talented entertainers and athletes. It is the duty of organization to provide them full privacy. This is because they have many competitors in society who are not happy for their success. Those people try to harm them in a variety of ways. For example, last year a very famous athlete of my country died in a car accident. Everyone thinks that his death was due to the negligence of the driver. Later on, after the investigation people find out that the accident was due to break failure. The reason behind the accident is that he had not enough privacy, and everyone knows that he was going that day to a charity show. Therefore, information of those personalities should be kept secret.
Secondly, we agree with the fact that fans have the power to make a personality famous. However, these fans are sometimes a source of danger or uneasiness for their favourite personalities. For instance, there was a concert of a well known comedian in my city last month. He is a very famous and talented comedian. He has a large number of fans all over the world. When he came here, there was only one bodyguard around him. So when he passed from the entrance to his resting room, some of the naughty boys entered his room intentionally. They tried to take his pictures without permission and made fun of him. As there was only one bodyguard, he could not be able to handle the situation. Finally, organizers had to call the police. This demonstrates that the comedian should have more privacy for unexpected interruption.
In sum, although some may disagree, I think that it is better for famous entertainers and athletes to have enough privacy to keep their information limited. Moreover, this can also prevent them from dealing with notorious fans.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-03 | tststs | 76 | view |
| 2022-10-25 | _sta | 66 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 14, Rule ID: AGREE_WITH_THE_FACT[1]
Message: Use simply 'agree that'.
Suggestion: agree that
... should be kept secret. Secondly, we agree with the fact that fans have the power to make a personali...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ry famous and talented comedian. He has a large number of fans all over the world. When he came h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 483, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... from the entrance to his resting room, some of the naughty boys entered his room intention...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for example, for instance, i think, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1845.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 379.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86807387863 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74856288289 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.530343007916 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 587.7 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.9428409405 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 70.9615384615 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.5769230769 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.07692307692 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17718214907 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0454570003145 0.076458572812 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0604038034426 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129199846958 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0444233984861 0.0645574589148 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 11.7677419355 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 10.1575268817 87% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.37 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.