Some parents offer their children money for each high grade they got in school. Do you think it is a good idea?
Acknowledging the importance of the pay-off is crucial to children who study in a school nowadays. Because most of the basic-life lessons do not teach by the school, such as how to earn money, how to finish work on time, and how to become a successful person. therefore, these life experiences left on the head of their parents. offering money for children's high grade might look unethical for somebody, but it can be one kind of life lesson for children too. In the following sentences, I will explain why I think this is a good idea.
First and foremost, the twenty-first century is the "money" century. Everybody work and study for money, hence school-age children need to understand who to earn money as soon as possible. if children earn money for a good grade, they will understand how earning money works how much you work hard, you will earn more and they will understand the price of the money. For instance, when I was in high school my parents give me some rewards for my high marks and achievements of competition. that reward always gives me a thought that all hard works pay off and that extra money always gives me to think about how to use it properly. therefore, offering money can be an experience of the real world.
second, the offering money for a high grade is two sided knife. The first side is the side of parents-there is no parents who do not like to see their children's success. if the parents offer money for high grade, their children start to study hard and get a good point and parents will be happy. The second side is the side of children all children want to own toys, computer, phone, and etc, but sometimes our parents do not buy them for us. if the parents offer money or items that we want by only high grades it can be a great deal for both parents and children. For example, my friend told me that her parents told her to buy an iPhone X by graduating from high school with a 4.00 GPA. After graduation, not only my friend was happy about the new phone, but also their parents were happy about their girl honored to the red diploma which only owned by a student with 4.00 GPA.
In conclusion, offering money for A+ can be an efficient lesson for children about life and be a productive way for parents who want their children to be successful graded.
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- TPO-49 - Integrated Writing Task 85
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- TPO-36 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 261, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
... and how to become a successful person. therefore, these life experiences left on the hea...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 272, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this life' or 'these lives'?
Suggestion: this life; these lives
... become a successful person. therefore, these life experiences left on the head of their p...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 330, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Offering
...nces left on the head of their parents. offering money for childrens high grade might lo...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 200, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... who to earn money as soon as possible. if children earn money for a good grade, t...
^^
Line 3, column 501, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
... marks and achievements of competition. that reward always gives me a thought that a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 643, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
... to think about how to use it properly. therefore, offering money can be an experience of...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...be an experience of the real world. second, the offering money for a high grade is...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 58, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'knife' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'knives'.
Suggestion: knives
...ing money for a high grade is two sided knife. The first side is the side of parents-...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 171, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ot like to see their childrens success. if the parents offer money for high grade,...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, look, second, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1891.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.51312649165 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50757761603 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.458233890215 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.8285240251 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.5263157895 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0526315789 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57894736842 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.479735889746 0.236089414692 203% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15590365189 0.076458572812 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.091432039795 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.293839260481 0.150856017488 195% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0553984547557 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.88 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.95 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.