Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Study plays a pivotal in children's future. However, since twelve-year education is a long and tiring process, it is important for parents to find ways to motivate their children's study. One of the most prevalent among these methods to encourage a child to learn is to give them allowances any time they receive good grades at school. In my opinion, parents' pecuniary incentives are rather disadvantageous than favorable to school-age children.
First of all, children would fail to realize the true of purpose of studying if they get money as gift for any high academic achievement. This method makes students learn for materialistic reason. When they grow older and get a part-time job, where the wage is higher than parents' small rewards, they may neglect their study and focus on working even at early ages. On the other hand, if children understand that learning industriously would benefit their future, they would automatically exert great efforts in studying. An illustration is my cousin, who used to receive five dollars for any time he placed first in his school mid-term and midterm exams. However, when he was in grade eight, he join his friends in a small online business, from which they earn a huge sum. Since then, he was regularly absent in classes and even intended to drop out of school for more time on the business. Fortunately, my aunt and uncle found out and convinced him to place his concentration back in classes and school. They explained how great performance in high school and college would bring him advantages in his future career, which far outweigh the benefits of work experience but without high education. After that, my cousin always strived to learn and get high marks even without any monetary rewards. All in all, children receiving allowances for their high grades may eventually overlook their study and focus on other activities allowing them to earn more than those pecuniary gifts.
In addition, parents' monetary offers may lead to some of children's extreme behaviors. Many suffer from stress and some may resort to cheating in a desperate hope for high academic accomplishments to gain money from their parents. Others, who used to first truly enjoy lessons in classes, feel pressurized and lose their interest in studying. For example, my mother said she used to receive money from my grandparents for her good grade at school. She loved it at first but gradually regarded study as a responsibility because of these rewards and eventually did not like learning anymore. Her marks declined even though she still put the same effort in homework, review and exam preparation. Luckily, my grandparents noticed that problem early enough to change the way they encourage my mother and helped her to cherish studying again. It is obvious that people always perform better out of interest than obligation. Consequently, this method is more likely to do harm to school-age children than to promote their schooling.
In conclusion, to my view, that children are offered money for high results at school is not beneficial. I believe that parents should try to use others approaches to inspire their children to work hard at school instead of using financial motivation. Children should study because they understand its merits and they really enjoy it.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 697, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'joins'.
Suggestion: joins
...However, when he was in grade eight, he join his friends in a small online business,...
^^^^
Line 3, column 762, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll online business, from which they earn a huge sum. Since then, he was regularly...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, if, look, may, really, so, still, then, for example, in addition, in conclusion, first of all, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2756.0 1977.66487455 139% => OK
No of words: 543.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07550644567 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6989702685 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 282.0 212.727598566 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519337016575 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 841.5 618.680645161 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.6424416783 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.074074074 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1111111111 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384678436507 0.236089414692 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102473390259 0.076458572812 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0660494426596 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.254635218627 0.150856017488 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00510691928419 0.0645574589148 8% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 86.8835125448 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.