Some young people (14-18) tend to divide their free time to participate in several activities, such as competitive sports, piano, and dance classes. Others prefer to focus on one activity. Which one do you think is better
It goes without saying that in today's progressive and sophisticated world where we live, time is of considerable importance in every individual's life and teenagers are no exception. In this vein, it is crucially important that how young people spend their free time. They can either concentrate on doing just one activity or devote their time to do several activities. I, personally speaking, think doing different tasks is more beneficial for youngsters and I have several reasons, on which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs.
First, doing several activities provides teenagers with an opportunity to find their talents easily. Since 14-18 years-old youngsters are in a critical age and they should make plan for their future it is significantly important for them to choose the best choice for their professional life. In fact, by attending different extra-curricular activities, young people have more chance to become aware of their talents and desires. Almost all of highschoolers spend their time studying their lessons and none of them have this opportunity to find a field in which he is really interested. By doing various activities at their leisure time, these students can experience different fields and as a result, they can choose their future major at university better. Therefore, they will find their favorable job and reach the peak of success with more certainty. All in all, the more they experience different tasks, the more they will become aware of their talents and desires, the more prosperous in future they will be.
Second, participating a variety of activities helps teenagers to improve their social skills. Most of the students spend their time at school with their classmates and teachers and their social activities are limited to attending school, discuss about lessons at classrooms and listen to teacher when he is solo lecturer. Doing several tasks after school's time, students can meet various people and try to form friendship with them. They can talk with their new companions about subjects that are different from their academic materials. Besides, except their teachers and classmates, they will be exposed to people who have different personalities. In this way, they learn how to interact with others, how to behave with their new companions and how to tackle vissicitudes of a relationship and this helps them to improve their communication skills. Being able to make relationship with others and deal with them in an effective way, students can present themselves and show their potential abilities to other people, which is truelly beneficial for them to get a decent job in future and be active at college.
In conclusion, Although focusing on just one activity have advantages for students, I think participating several tasks is more beneficial for 14-18 years-old teenagers since in this way they not only can find their true talents and go towards success easily but also will enjoy from being a sociable person who can interact with people and present himself to others.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... is of considerable importance in every individuals life and teenagers are no exception. In...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 915, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an effective way" with adverb for "effective"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...tionship with others and deal with them in an effective way, students can present themselves and sh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, really, second, so, therefore, i think, in conclusion, in fact, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2557.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 489.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22903885481 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70248278971 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81376622567 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466257668712 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 776.7 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 69.0400742754 48.9658058833 141% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.578947368 100.406767564 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7368421053 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57894736842 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199968631894 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0793726709892 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0507186622747 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150856028505 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0458549526726 0.0645574589148 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 11.7677419355 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.