Recently companies start to use target marketing to advertise for their products . In this regards, some people are inclined toward the opinion that those company can use kids as a target group, whereas others had exactly the opposite opinion. I firmly concur with this argument and I opposes the idea that commercials directed to young children due to the influence that may have on kids behavior as well as their selection of products.
First, this is obvious because television advertising will affect kids`behavior. Young children are not mature enough to select which product is useful for them. Consequently, they will follow TV commercial, and so they will want to buy whatever they see on the TV. This can affect negatively children`s behavior and bring about consumerism in it. For example a friend of mine has a 4 year old daughter and every time she see any advertisement for toys she starts to ask her to buy it . And with time her daughter develops the belief that it is good for her to spend a lot of money on toys. It`s clear that TV commercial should not be directed to young kids.
Second, it also evident that children, at the age of five and under,can not judge the quality of products. Therefore, TV advertising should not target them. For example, if young kids watch a commercial about a junk food many times, they will have their parents buy it for them which can have a serious impact on their health. Even though some may argue that some food advertising are about healthy meals, I believes that most of them are not. Because of this it`s better to address those advertisement to adults or older kids than to young ones.
Despite the fact that many companies say that target marketing is a successful way to advertise for their products, for the main reasons of protecting children`s behaviors and health , TV advertisement should not be directed to young kids at age of five and younger.
- TPO-25 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 71
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 76
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It is important to know about events happening around the world even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life 78
- TPO-47 - Integrated Writing Task Pterosaurs were an ancient group of winged reptiles that lived alongside the dinosaurs. Many pterosaurs were very large, some as large as a giraffe and with a wingspan of over 12 meters. Paleontologists have long wondered 81
- TOEFL TPO 46 - Integrated Writing Task 81
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 81, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...arketing to advertise for their products . In this regards, some people are inclin...
^^
Line 1, column 87, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ng to advertise for their products . In this regards, some people are inclined towar...
^^^^
Line 1, column 150, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this company' or 'those companies'?
Suggestion: this company; those companies
...le are inclined toward the opinion that those company can use kids as a target group, whereas...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 286, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'oppose'
Suggestion: oppose
... firmly concur with this argument and I opposes the idea that commercials directed to y...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 433, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'sees'.
Suggestion: sees
... 4 year old daughter and every time she see any advertisement for toys she starts t...
^^^
Line 3, column 495, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...for toys she starts to ask her to buy it . And with time her daughter develops the...
^^
Line 5, column 68, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , can
...t children, at the age of five and under,can not judge the quality of products. Ther...
^^^^
Line 5, column 173, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... should not target them. For example, if young kids watch a commercial about a ju...
^^
Line 5, column 410, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'believe'
Suggestion: believe
... advertising are about healthy meals, I believes that most of them are not. Because of t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 490, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this advertisement' or 'those advertisements'?
Suggestion: this advertisement; those advertisements
...use of this it's better to address those advertisement to adults or older kids than to young o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 188, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ing children's behaviors and health , TV advertisement should not be directed...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, well, whereas, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1613.0 1977.66487455 82% => OK
No of words: 332.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85843373494 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.2685907696 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79426584027 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 212.727598566 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524096385542 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 486.9 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.7836740447 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.8125 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0625 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155789529395 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0591821573165 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0455026296579 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112117446888 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04059712566 0.0645574589148 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.