TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Television greatly impact the views and opinions of viewers whether adult or children. Moreover, it influence the way people act and think with regards to how they will adapt in situations. In my opinion, television advertising has bad impact on young minds of our children, thus, some of these are violence, aggression and unhealthy lifestyles. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, advertisements tends to attract young children to believe that certain products are beneficial for them, company misleads toddlers in choosing unhealthy food products by labeling it with fortified with vitamins and minerals, but, the truth it is loaded with numerous of sugar content and lacking vitamins and minerals. However, this kind of advert is still all over the world specifically in my home country, United States, but, government are making move toward this by black propaganda in advertising, they are banning products that are unhealthy and does not fit the standards of FDA and also license of these companies are suspended. For this reason, I strongly believe that adverts that are misleading should be looked into because it greatly influence the choices of young children.
Secondly, adverts sometimes are violent in nature, young boys are taught to fight bad people by using their sword and gun. They think these behavior are acceptable due to they watched it in television. Additionally, when parents buy this toys, they will play it with friends violently and aggressively. For instance, my nephew loves his pellet gun toy, so, he point and shoot his target practice and I noticed later on that he now shoot animals with his toy. I talked to him about that incidence in shooting his dog, he just said it is fun to shoot my puppy because he feels empowered and powerful. Accordingly, I think adverts should not be allowed to be seen by preschoolers, hence, it should be abolished in television due to it makes our children violent and aggressive.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that there are no good things advertisement can instill in children minds. This is because it can only result in violence, aggression, irritability and being unhealthy individual.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'influences'?
Suggestion: influences
...whether adult or children. Moreover, it influence the way people act and think with regar...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 763, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'influences'?
Suggestion: influences
...hould be looked into because it greatly influence the choices of young children. Secon...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 135, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this behavior' or 'these behaviors'?
Suggestion: this behavior; these behaviors
...y using their sword and gun. They think these behavior are acceptable due to they watched it i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 361, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'points'.
Suggestion: points
...nephew loves his pellet gun toy, so, he point and shoot his target practice and I not...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 58, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'things'' or 'thing's'?
Suggestion: things'; thing's
...strongly believe that there are no good things advertisement can instill in children m...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, for instance, i feel, i think, in conclusion, kind of, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1867.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 366.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10109289617 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37391431897 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79992796049 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.565573770492 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 563.4 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.4484076851 48.9658058833 154% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.466666667 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.2666666667 5.45110844103 225% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158145799166 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0530604533238 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0434051761926 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0933036066125 0.150856017488 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0256874992643 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.