TPO 35
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is critically important that we do not separate our society based on who is famous or who holds immeasurable amount of wealth in today's world. Personally, I believe that celebrity should not get more privacy and need to participate in the community . I feel this for two reasons which I will explain in the following essay.
To begin with, many celebrities become popular by gaining interest from range of supporters of prominent people, not by isolating themselves from society. Public figures and supports are associated with relation between community and them usually because fans find same personality trait on their epitome. When influencers lock themselves in their luxury, grated mansion, they would lost tract with the real world and become less popular. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. My sister is a ballet dancer, and has an Instagram account which has tens of thousand followers. She would share her personal life with her fandom and the community would support her show every time. Her ground touching personality is a huge avail for building and bonding the community. If my sister move in a luxury apartment and stay as isolated as she could, she would not have the success she has today.
Furthermore, entertainers and sports star could be motivated by their fans and benefits the whole community when keeping in touch with each other. Many influencers as it is has become symbol of their neighbourhood and a great link of social interaction. People with profound social influence could make big changes in the community or even change someone's life. For instance, the community, where I grow up, had one athlete participating a competition represent our city. At that time, one nearby resident kid got sick and could not afford the medical bill. Therefore our community contacted the athlete and hold a fund campaign for hospitalized kids. The results of the campaign along with the competition are both wonderful and beyond the expectation. Based on this experience, I strongly believe it would be a win-win situation when famous people joined their supporter and share life together.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that famous entertainers and athletes should not have more privacy than they have now. This is famous people need the community support and will benefits the community.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-03 | tststs | 76 | view |
| 2022-10-25 | _sta | 66 | view |
- A 3
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- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Younger school children aged five to ten should be required to study art and music in addition to math science history and language 70
- ummarize the points made in the lecture you just heard explaining how they cast doubt on the specific theories discussed in the reading passage 3
- TPO 54 Writing Independent Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state sponsored Olympic teams Use specific reasons and examples to support you 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 252, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...and need to participate in the community . I feel this for two reasons which I wil...
^^
Line 3, column 384, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'lose'
Suggestion: lose
...heir luxury, grated mansion, they would lost tract with the real world and become le...
^^^^
Line 5, column 559, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... and could not afford the medical bill. Therefore our community contacted the athlete and...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 178, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'benefit'
Suggestion: benefit
...ple need the community support and will benefits the community.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, if, so, therefore, as to, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1970.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.17060367454 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78617670393 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569553805774 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 26.1702952551 48.9658058833 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.8095238095 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1428571429 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.2380952381 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176837180036 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0504778409684 0.076458572812 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0807313304523 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144476309118 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.11434593584 0.0645574589148 177% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.41 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.