With growth of publicity and the rivalry in paparazzis, the debate over the state of personal privacy for famous entertainers and athletes triggered strong arguments. From my perspective, everyone should have the power to indicate how much the are willing to reveal from their personal life and what is happening to famous people is unfair and destructive for both themselves and their family. I will elaborate two strong reasons in following essay.
To start, when people are being watched constantly, they have to behave themselves and prevent any non ethical manners to avoid bad publicity. Based on this, celebrities tend to pretend to be someone they are not to resist bad outcomes which can occur if they don't. This can take up so much effort and energy that is not essential and may have a profound impact on their state of mind. For instance, we have crossed path with so many celebrities who committed suicide or dealt with depression caused by comments and insights from people on TV or social media. Therefore, if they are capable of restricting the amount of personal data they share, they can control these possible disadvantages.
Furthermore, famous people have sacrificed many of their right because of this. A compelling illustration of this is that invasion of privacy can result in a limitation of locations celebrities can go without being bullied or intruded by other people. In this day and age, as soon as some famous person shows up in a public place, everyone post stories or tweets letting other people know and before you know it, that person is surrounded by a large crowd who expect a selfies or a signatures. As a result of that, they can't even show up in a mall to buy something peacefully. As an individual no one should have to go through this and everyone should be able to take advantage of any illegible right they have.
To conclude, people have been following celebrities far more than they should nowadays. These has encouraged shows and publicities to spend more money to invade their privacy. I personally believe that this phenomena should be stopped because it can cause mental issues for famous people and may prohibit some of their legal and simple rights.
- TPO 37 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Many people nowadays spend too much money on their pets dogs cats or other animals although there are better uses for this money Use specific reasons and example 59
- TPO 45 independent writing taskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement In the past young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives Use s 70
- TOEFL T P O 1 Integrated Writing Task 3
- TPO 46 Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement The opinions of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes are more important to younger people than they are to older people Use specific reasons and examp 70
- TPO 50 Integrated Writing Task 80
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 242, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...uld have the power to indicate how much the are willing to reveal from their personal l...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...st bad outcomes which can occur if they dont. This can take up so much effort and en...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... control these possible disadvantages. Furthermore, famous people have sacrifi...
^^^
Line 5, column 482, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a signature' or simply 'signatures'?
Suggestion: a signature; signatures
...y a large crowd who expect a selfies or a signatures. As a result of that, they cant even sh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 522, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...a signatures. As a result of that, they cant even show up in a mall to buy something...
^^^^
Line 7, column 204, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...heir privacy. I personally believe that this phenomena should be stopped because it ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, if, may, so, therefore, for instance, you know, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1837.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 374.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91176470588 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67068937079 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.553475935829 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 584.1 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0183407585 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.8125 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.375 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.054861491714 0.236089414692 23% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0235236641789 0.076458572812 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0292934444726 0.0737576698707 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0392088500843 0.150856017488 26% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.013738708708 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.