TPO 40 Q2
There is no doubt that nowadays, education play the key role in our society. No one can deny the impact of getting good grades on children's future. Nowadays some may hold the opinion that offer children money for each of their high grade can be a good idea to make children intrested to their study. However, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that this is not a good idea. From my own prespective, the first belief is true. In what follows, i will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.
The first reason coming to mind to substantiate my standpoint is concerned with this issue that offering rewards such as money can bring motivation for a child to study better in every way. You may know motivation is an important mean to success in every work such as study. As an example, in my own experience i dreamed to have a smarth phone at the time when smart phone was a fancy stuff. I always had bad mark on my Arabic language exams. My father was not quiet satisfied with my mark in this field since he himself was arabic teacher. So one day he told me he will buy me a smart phone if i get a good mark in my exam. you can not imagine how i felt when i hear these words from my father. That day and a day after that i started to study much harder eventhough i did not like Arabic. Consequently i got both high grade and my smart phone as my father promised me. As you can see offering rewards such as money can make children get higher mark.
The last but not least reason by which claim is justified is offering rewards can give children a goal to start moving toward it in order to get higher marks. This reason is very important because if children does not have any goal in their life, they start to do that parents does not confirm such as crime. For instance, in my high school there was a boy whose name was Jaffar. Jaffer lived in a rough neighberhood and since he did not have any goal in his life he joined some criminal gangs in his neighberhood. After a while his father found out he was not attending his class and he was doing criminal activity instead of studing. His father tried to give him some direction by giving him money as reward if he gets good marks in high school. And simply he changed. This experience taught me that giving our children a goal by offering them money can protect their future.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that offering children money in order to giving them motivation and goal is a right thing to do. Considering all reasons which mentioned above, may lead us to encourage other parents to do the same.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 463, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... first belief is true. In what follows, i will pinpoint the most outstanding reas...
^
Line 3, column 28, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'mind substantiating'.
Suggestion: mind substantiating
... reasons. The first reason coming to mind to substantiate my standpoint is concerned with this is...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 217, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in every way. You may know motivation is an important mean to success in every wo...
^^
Line 3, column 313, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...dy. As an example, in my own experience i dreamed to have a smarth phone at the t...
^
Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...told me he will buy me a smart phone if i get a good mark in my exam. you can not...
^
Line 3, column 627, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: You
... phone if i get a good mark in my exam. you can not imagine how i felt when i hear ...
^^^
Line 3, column 651, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ark in my exam. you can not imagine how i felt when i hear these words from my fa...
^
Line 3, column 663, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...am. you can not imagine how i felt when i hear these words from my father. That d...
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Line 3, column 728, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...y father. That day and a day after that i started to study much harder eventhough...
^
Line 3, column 770, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...started to study much harder eventhough i did not like Arabic. Consequently i got...
^
Line 3, column 793, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
...arder eventhough i did not like Arabic. Consequently i got both high grade and my smart phon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 806, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ugh i did not like Arabic. Consequently i got both high grade and my smart phone ...
^
Line 5, column 14, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[3]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'not the least'.
Suggestion: not the least
...ildren get higher mark. The last but not least reason by which claim is justified is o...
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Line 5, column 467, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... he did not have any goal in his life he joined some criminal gangs in his neighb...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, if, may, so, while, for instance, no doubt, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2134.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 488.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.37295081967 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32333314762 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487704918033 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2517289409 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.0769230769 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7692307692 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.30769230769 5.45110844103 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.07 10.9000537634 74% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.92 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.