TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task
Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Spending time with children is very important because the identity of a child forms in that stage of life, and parents should be careful how they want to grow their child. Some parents are too busy to spend a lot of time with their children, and in their free time they play games or sports with their children, while some thinks parents should do schoolwork with their children. In my view, playing game with children is better for few reasons which I will explain.
Firstly, parents should have a good connection with their children because children tend to listen to someone whom they are happy with. For example, schoolwork may not be a very fun task and a child mostly like to play football with a friend; if the father plays with his kid as a friend, the child is going to consider him as a good person that should be listened to.
In addition, parents are not responsible for children's schoolwork because it is children's duty and if they want help, they can ask from the school teacher to guide them. For instance, my mother can not read or write, so she is not able to help me; instead of that she always encourages me to study well at school and ask whatever that I do not know from the teacher.
Finally, I think sport is more important than schoolwork becaus if you do not have a healthy body, your mind does not work well. For example, I used to go to swimming pool every week because it gave me a fresh feeling,so I was able to concentrate on my school lessons more, but these days I do not swim anymore due to studying hard for the university. As a result, may grades have decreased a lot.
Basically, parents should care about the health of their children a lot. In their free times, it is better to play games and sports because children tend to love them more, besides that, teacheres can help students better at schoolwork.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: As a result, may grades have decreased a lot.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to may and grades
Sentence: Finally, I think sport is more important than schoolwork becaus if you do not have a healthy body, your mind does not work well.
Error: becaus Suggestion: because
Sentence: In their free times, it is better to play games and sports because children tend to love them more, besides that, teacheres can help students better at schoolwork.
Error: teacheres Suggestion: teachers
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 165 200
We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1467 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.327 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.259 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.777 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.389 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.662 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Did i receive a low score
Did i receive a low score just for grammatical mistakes?
No, there are no grammatical
No, there are no grammatical issues. look at the flaws:
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 165 200
We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
difficult_words: 38.0 86.8835125448 44% => More difficult words wanted.
It means you need more Different Words and more difficult_words.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 218, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , so
... week because it gave me a fresh feeling,so I was able to concentrate on my school ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, so, well, while, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1518.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 338.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.49112426036 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34154355748 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520710059172 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 442.8 618.680645161 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences, or put a space between two sentences.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.8083519533 48.9658058833 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.5 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.1666666667 20.6045352989 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.4166666667 5.45110844103 209% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264233170908 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105057727678 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0782756762027 0.0737576698707 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140526332932 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0863696539875 0.0645574589148 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.44 58.1214874552 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.06 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.8 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 38.0 86.8835125448 44% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.