TPO16 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of traveling. Some people may hold the opinion that it is better to travel ia a group led by a tour guide. But others have negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, traveling individual have more advantage than having trip in a group. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look at what a person can typically gain from a good journey. If you want to have interesting moments in special days with your family, going travel is the best choice. It goes without saying that if you travel in a group you will not have enough freedom for experiencing exiting moments. By way of illustration, I rememmber from my journey to Shiraz, central city in Iran, I liked to visit many historical places, but there were not any plan in our tour program to went to those places. So, I did not have enough enjoy on that trip.
There is also more subtle point we must consider. If you decide to travel independly you have your time and you do not have to act according to the tour schadule. Taking my trip too Shiraz for example again, we did not have sufficient time to visit historical buildings. Furthermore, we had to wake up early in the morning to join the group and it was terrible for me because I used to sleep until 11 o'clock.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that traveling by group means more communication with other people or even spending less money. But by taking the merits and demerits of traveling in tour, I prefer to have my own trip. Altough some family eager to have the benefits of have trip by group, my family and I do not like to have another bad experience. I prefer to spend more money but make good memory for my wife.
Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of traveling individual is having your plan, and also, having your time schadule.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
traveling individual have more advantage
traveling individual has more advantages
to went to those places.
to go to those places.
Sentence: Altough some family eager to have the benefits of have trip by group, my family and I do not like to have another bad experience.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to family and eager
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to of and have
Sentence: Some people may hold the opinion that it is better to travel ia a group led by a tour guide.
Error: ia Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: By way of illustration, I rememmber from my journey to Shiraz, central city in Iran, I liked to visit many historical places, but there were not any plan in our tour program to went to those places.
Error: rememmber Suggestion: remember
Sentence: If you decide to travel independly you have your time and you do not have to act according to the tour schadule.
Error: schadule Suggestion: schedule
Error: independly Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of traveling individual is having your plan, and also, having your time schadule.
Error: schadule Suggestion: schedule
flaws:
This paragraph is not developed well:
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that traveling by group means more communication with other people or even spending less money. But by taking the merits and demerits of traveling in tour, I prefer to have my own trip. Altough some family eager to have the benefits of have trip by group, my family and I do not like to have another bad experience. I prefer to spend more money but make good memory for my wife.
You may say something like this:
Admittedly, I cannot oversee the fact that traveling by group means more communication with other people or even spending less money. However, we may meet people we don't like, or those talkative people may attract our attention to those beautiful sites, or we can save some money but we lost our privacy....
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Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree. (suppose we support side A)
Para 2: First, reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second, reason 2, blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. first,....second...However, there is no causation/relation... Still I support side A, ...first,....second...
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1587 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.396 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.394 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.297 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 402, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: o'clock
...for me because I used to sleep until 11 oclock. Finally, I cannot oversee the fact ...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'furthermore', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'for example']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.201005025126 0.229887763892 87% => OK
Verbs: 0.195979899497 0.158761421928 123% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0678391959799 0.0866891130778 78% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0628140703518 0.046263068375 136% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0904522613065 0.0685040099705 132% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.113065326633 0.118717715034 95% => OK
Participles: 0.0502512562814 0.0351676179071 143% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.49997530852 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0452261306533 0.0309702414327 146% => OK
Particles: 0.00251256281407 0.00188951952338 133% => OK
Determiners: 0.0678391959799 0.0887237588012 76% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0175879396985 0.0209618222197 84% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00502512562814 0.0139019557991 36% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1995.0 2387.08602151 84% => OK
No of words: 360.0 408.028673835 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.54166666667 5.86048508987 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.48200974243 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.294444444444 0.338922669872 87% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.197222222222 0.251872472559 78% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.127777777778 0.174417080927 73% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0944444444444 0.112833075102 84% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49997530852 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558333333333 0.524397521467 106% => OK
Word variations: 62.3447117769 59.2087087015 105% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6684587814 92% => OK
Sentence length: 18.9473684211 20.5533526081 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.9740306636 48.84282405 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.0 120.699889404 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9473684211 20.5533526081 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.526315789474 0.644075263715 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.54480286738 18% => OK
Readability: 38.6695906433 45.7405998639 85% => OK
Elegance: 1.04316546763 1.45489161554 72% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.37137575943 0.300154397459 124% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0648644948852 0.103427244359 63% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0861448335814 0.0752933317313 114% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.476656532913 0.497263757937 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.184721191467 0.151897553556 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118783969029 0.114077575197 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0948960320442 0.0781384742642 121% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.274268558417 0.336927656856 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0987049701737 0.067059652881 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223989929352 0.210909579961 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.034799850084 0.0618886996521 56% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8870967742 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.91756272401 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 8.42114695341 95% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.4623655914 162% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.75985663082 145% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.6433691756 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.