TPO26-
Do you or disagree with the following statement?
It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents' jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their their parents' jobs.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of job and choosing suitable job. Some people may hold the opinion that choosing jobs with more similarities to their parents is better for children. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, finding jobs as our parents have many advantages that we cannot neglect them. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look at what a person can typically gain from a job. Needless to say, money is the most important goal of a good job. It goes without saying that, if you have more experiences in your career, you can save more money because people always need you for their works. By way of illustration, my father is chemistry teacher and I continue his way and become chemistry teacher too. Thus, using his experiences in teaching chemistry brings good opportunity for me to becomes the best tutor for chemsitry in our town.
There is also a more subtle point we must consider. Making mistake is very common in all of the jobs and if you choose different job from your parents, your make more blunders during your career. On the other hand, if you have same job with your father or mother, you can predict some mistakes and it is easier for you to avoid more faults. For instance, my cousin works in computer company as my ancle and he learns from his parents many possible errors in programming. So, when he writes a program, the number of errors is considerably fewer than other his colleagues.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that engaging in similar job to our parents also means having more advice for progressing in our work. To shed more light on the issue according the result of the study done in Chamran University, the employees who use helpful advices from their family especially their parents experience better development in their jobs. Taking on eperson who wants to running new business for example, if he continues his parents business by up-to-dates it, making progrees is more possible rather than he initiates new business.
Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some expections which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the merits of having similar job with our parents is much more than its demerits.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
finding jobs as our parents have many advantages that we cannot neglect them
finding jobs as our parents has many advantages that we cannot neglect
my father is chemistry teacher
my father is a chemistry teacher
and become chemistry teacher too.
and become a chemistry teacher too.
fewer than other his colleagues.
fewer than his colleagues.
fewer than other colleagues.
according the result of the study
according to the result of the study
Taking on eperson who wants to running new business
Taking on a person who wants to run new business
the merits of having similar job with our parents is much more than its demerits.
the merits ... are much more than the demerits.
Sentence: Thus, using his experiences in teaching chemistry brings good opportunity for me to becomes the best tutor for chemsitry in our town.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and becomes
Sentence: Making mistake is very common in all of the jobs and if you choose different job from your parents, your make more blunders during your career.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to your and make
Sentence: Thus, using his experiences in teaching chemistry brings good opportunity for me to becomes the best tutor for chemsitry in our town.
Error: chemsitry Suggestion: chemistry
Sentence: For instance, my cousin works in computer company as my ancle and he learns from his parents many possible errors in programming.
Error: ancle Suggestion: angle
Sentence: Taking on eperson who wants to running new business for example, if he continues his parents business by up-to-dates it, making progrees is more possible rather than he initiates new business.
Error: progrees Suggestion: progress
Error: up-to-dates Suggestion: updates
Error: eperson Suggestion: person
Sentence: Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some expections which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the merits of having similar job with our parents is much more than its demerits.
Error: expections Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
Read a good grammar book.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 1862 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.678 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.453 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.947 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.01 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 86, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...sider. Making mistake is very common in all of the jobs and if you choose different job fr...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 233, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'jobbed'.
Suggestion: jobbed
...er. On the other hand, if you have same job with your father or mother, you can pre...
^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'thus', 'for example', 'for instance', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.234624145786 0.229887763892 102% => OK
Verbs: 0.152619589977 0.158761421928 96% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0820045558087 0.0866891130778 95% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0569476082005 0.046263068375 123% => OK
Pronouns: 0.111617312073 0.0685040099705 163% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.136674259681 0.118717715034 115% => OK
Participles: 0.0455580865604 0.0351676179071 130% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.53076447323 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0182232346241 0.0309702414327 59% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0615034168565 0.0887237588012 69% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0205011389522 0.0209618222197 98% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0113895216401 0.0139019557991 82% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2312.0 2387.08602151 97% => OK
No of words: 398.0 408.028673835 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.80904522613 5.86048508987 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48200974243 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.341708542714 0.338922669872 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.243718592965 0.251872472559 97% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.158291457286 0.174417080927 91% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.100502512563 0.112833075102 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53076447323 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552763819095 0.524397521467 105% => OK
Word variations: 63.3984360774 59.2087087015 107% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6684587814 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.9473684211 20.5533526081 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.2981207465 48.84282405 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.684210526 120.699889404 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9473684211 20.5533526081 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.631578947368 0.644075263715 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 45.3192277175 45.7405998639 99% => OK
Elegance: 1.29787234043 1.45489161554 89% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.348861804378 0.300154397459 116% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.061108977635 0.103427244359 59% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0655867982725 0.0752933317313 87% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.459099522266 0.497263757937 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.172438273738 0.151897553556 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107026030357 0.114077575197 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0957008771624 0.0781384742642 122% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.272035035309 0.336927656856 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.064459780592 0.067059652881 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212225774432 0.210909579961 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0535087397621 0.0618886996521 86% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8870967742 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.91756272401 81% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.4623655914 162% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.75985663082 109% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.6433691756 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.