TPO54- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
On one side, some people believe that, art is the most subject among people, and the government should spend more money to improve it because we have use the art to send messages to the world. On the other side, some people make opposit points, and they believe sport is more important than art, and the government should spend money to support olympic teams to sompite with world. I firmly assert the first point carries high weitgh because I think olympic teams do not have a high level. I use following reasons to support my position.
For the begginig, in think sport is a bigest bussines in the world, and people who attend in sport teams just think about earning money, and in their opinion, playing in olampic teams is a good job for them. Unfortunatelly, sometimes I see if the government does not pay much money to coaches, they leave their team because they have a better opportunety in another team. In addition, some good players expect much money, and if the team can not support them, they will attend another team. This behavior botthers me because I believe that, it is not a faithful behavior, and they should have a friendly behavior. On the other hand, although artists can not earn much monet, it does not matter to them because they enjoy doing art works, and do it for their emotion.
Additionally, in my opinion, people who attend in olampic teams, do not have a health competiton. they do not respect each other, and have a bad behavior toward other players. I can not underestand, sometimes when videos are speared on the net, I get upsed because in most videos they an argument with each other, they shout at each other, and fight, even somethimes I see during the game they hit each other because they can not see another team become win. Actually, the government should spend money for learning them to have a health competition. In contrast, artists have polite behavior toward each other, and they are so modest. Besides, I have never seen violent videos from them.
As a result, art is more important than sports, and the government should spend more money to support it because with art you can show your emotion, and become creative, also send messages to the world to help people for solving problems in the world. Were I in charge, I would pay attention to art.
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| 2023-07-21 | Take | 70 | view |
| 2023-05-20 | slliland | 90 | view |
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- TPO48 Integrated Writing 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 21, column 99, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...teams, do not have a health competiton. they do not respect each other, and have a b...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, first, if, so, even so, i think, in addition, in contrast, as a result, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1932.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 407.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74692874693 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35131925862 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.439803439803 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 13.0 1.86738351254 696% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.738610255 48.9658058833 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.647058824 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9411764706 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.58823529412 5.45110844103 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207461214546 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0858436999264 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0942515898808 0.0737576698707 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170499291188 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.111089478763 0.0645574589148 172% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.87 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 86.8835125448 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.