Advantages of storing patients’ medical records in electronic databases
Traditionally doctors use paper-based records to store the information of patients. The passage mentions that it is better to switch from paper-based records to electronic databases, since this will reduce costs, prevent potential mistakes, and aid for research. But the lecture considers them unconvincing.
The passage begins by arguing that electronic databases will contribute to reduce the storing and transferring costs for paper records. However, the lecture counters this, pointing out that many doctors would continuously use paper records as emergency backups, and also save them as legal documnets, since patients need to signature on the records. Thus doctors are still required to pay for storage space. Therefore, the assertion of the passage sound unreasoning.
Furthermore, the passage assumes that electronic database could reduce the potential mistakes of doctors when they write down to the paper records. The lecture, however, suggests this may not be merited by the evidence. Doctors who directly face with patients would still use paper records to take notes and draw highlights on the paper records in order to better communicate with them. After that, the paper records need be transformed into electronic form. However, the transform processing do not guarantee absolutely correct. The passage cannot bolster the recommedation without ruling out the refutation.
Last but not the least important, even if the evidence turns out to support the passage that electronic records would greatly helpful to medical research, one critical fact is being left out of consideration. The lecture points out the passage neglects the truth that there are strictic laws on personal privacy in the US. Patients will not allow anyone use his medical information without his permission. Therefore, researchers must require designation from patients firstly, but this is also not guaranteed. The passage must explain more persuasively to reach the cited conclusion.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 355, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'anyone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
... the US. Patients will not allow anyone use his medical information without his per...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 10.4613686534 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 5.04856512141 257% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 7.30242825607 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 22.412803532 85% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 30.3222958057 125% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 5.01324503311 180% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1684.0 1373.03311258 123% => OK
No of words: 299.0 270.72406181 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.63210702341 5.08290768461 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1583189471 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84879558593 2.5805825403 110% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 145.348785872 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555183946488 0.540411800872 103% => OK
syllable_count: 514.8 419.366225166 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.23620309051 134% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.25165562914 320% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.51434878587 264% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.8182066769 49.2860985944 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5555555556 110.228320801 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6111111111 21.698381199 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 7.06452816374 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242918592391 0.272083759551 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658626611274 0.0996497079465 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0637784038097 0.0662205650399 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151985353356 0.162205337803 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00721026468519 0.0443174109184 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 13.3589403974 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 53.8541721854 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.0289183223 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.08 12.2367328918 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.42419426049 107% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 63.6247240618 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.7273730684 84% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.