the reading passage is about the population of birds - sohrab
In this set of material the reading passage is about the population of birds and its obstacles; on the other hand, the listening passage is a lecture by a professor about the reading passage which disagreed the mentioned reasons in the reading passage.
According to the reading passage, in the recent century, people and the growth of the population have made some serious problems for birds, especially wild birds habitats. As a result, the number of birds in the United States will decline in a huge amount. First of all, writer believes that because of the human populations and house buildings, the bird's natural habitats will continue to disappear; as a result, forests and grasslands are changing with malls and homes. In addition, writer of the passage believes that increasing in agricultural activities has made a huge problem for birds, and the bird's habitats are going to be replaced by agricultural fields. Finally, writer mentioned that the use of chemical pesticides is the one of the big problems for birds. According to the writer, because of insects and other kind of pests, people are using wide range of chemical pesticides, which has a harmful effects on the birds by killing them, or stopping them from reproducing.
According to the listening passage, the professor disagreed the mentioned information in the reading passage, she, for example, told the students when population of human increase, they, as a result, may produce and prepare some good places for birds. In addition, agricultural activities have some positive effects for birds by producing food for them, and, finally, she believes people in these days are going to use another methods to reduce insects, they, for example, use pest resistant crops.
Overall, mentioned information in the listening passage disagreed the mentioned reasons in the reading passage.
when population of human increase,
when the population of human increases,
to use another methods
to use another method
to use other methods
flaws:
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages or as less as possible.
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 299 250
No. of Characters: 1509 1200
No. of Different Words: 130 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.158 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.047 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.635 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.648 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.459 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.65 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4