Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Without a bit of doubt, the award has a specific place in children raising, which is the most decisive factor in the kid's future personality. While some people believe that every single high mark from children should attain a prize, another thinks it is unnecessary or even harmful to their long-time behavior. In my view, give an award for each high mark is not appropriate because of two reasons. First, providing money for each high score can finally affect children's mental health and motivation; it may harm a child's intrinsic motivation, determining whether an action is eternal or provisional. Although giving money as a reward for every high grade establishes behavior that does not exist from the beginning, to continue what is already available, internal motivation is needed. Imagine a child who gives money after every high mark, and his parents have to go a mission or travel, or due to some unknown reasons, it is not possible to encourage their children immediately by money or other things as rewards, and then guess what happened? A child whose efforts to get high scores to depend on prizes probably experiences a significant decrease in grades and regress, leading to feeling down, anxiety, or other mental problems. We can see its necessary to teach children to love what they do by their heart without dependency on external reasoning such as money or any specific prize.
On the other hand, if children can not predict when they will achieve a commendation, they will probably work harder; this is already a discussed fact in psychology literature, unpredictable or periodic, better than giving it in a regular estate. Because it is not stable and they don't know the big prize when coming in all tasks, they try to be their best. For instance, when I was a primary school, my father told me he decides to buy me a doll based on my final exams, but he didn't tell me I have to get how many high scores, on that year. He gave me a single prize, but it made me feel excited about all my scores and do my best. If the rewards are predictable, maybe it's not exciting enough to drive me to attain high grades on every task. It is better to give just a single award and employ a child's mind with success every single moment. Finally, I assume that providing money for every high score is unnecessary, but it is a threat to children's mental health and regular prize because its nature predictably couldn't offer enough.

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2020-09-22 zahrash7558 80 view
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 281, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...tate. Because it is not stable and they dont know the big prize when coming in all t...
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Line 2, column 479, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... a doll based on my final exams, but he didnt tell me I have to get how many high sco...
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Line 2, column 1016, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ar prize because its nature predictably couldnt offer enough.
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, so, then, while, for instance, such as, in my view, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 10.4613686534 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 7.30242825607 260% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 22.412803532 196% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 30.3222958057 139% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2007.0 1373.03311258 146% => OK
No of words: 426.0 270.72406181 157% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71126760563 5.08290768461 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.04702891845 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59935058531 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 145.348785872 161% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549295774648 0.540411800872 102% => OK
syllable_count: 641.7 419.366225166 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 3.25607064018 307% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 8.23620309051 24% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 1.25165562914 479% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.51434878587 462% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 13.0662251656 115% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 21.2450331126 132% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.5388321995 49.2860985944 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.8 110.228320801 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4 21.698381199 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6 7.06452816374 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 2.0 4.09492273731 49% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 4.33554083885 300% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 4.45695364238 22% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25894093145 0.272083759551 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0825426284968 0.0996497079465 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0421260163073 0.0662205650399 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196164117812 0.162205337803 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0604075576881 0.0443174109184 136% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 13.3589403974 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 53.8541721854 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.0289183223 118% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.2367328918 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.42419426049 101% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 63.6247240618 149% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.7273730684 131% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.498013245 126% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:

para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.