TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The passage illustrates the advantages of electronic medical record system over the use of paper-based medical reports. While the lecture, in contrast, explains that the advantages of electronic medical databases are uncertain providing evident reasonings.

Firstly, the passage avers that keeping electronic records will reduce the overall cost caused by paper-based records. It will be save the cost of copying, faxing or transporting reports from one location to another. In the same way, the paper reports require much storage spaces while electronic records needs no space. But, the lecture clearly states that there won't be any saving regarding electronic records. Because for the legal issues and to keep backups, paper records will still be in use. Thus, it doesn't suggest any kind of savings.

Secondly, the passage affirms that use of electronic records will prevent errors as legible computerised fonts and databases are used. Whereas, the lecture contradict the point explaining how doctors use pen and paper to make notes and prescriptions for the patients. Therefore, it is unavoidable to prevent errors in the databases because it is staff member who has to interpret the illegible handwritings into the system.

Thirdly, the passage advocates the fact that electronic medical records will aid in the research purposes which is completely vague. According to the lecture, there will be no benefits regarding researches because it will be difficult to get access to medical records. There have been strict privacy laws for medical health of the patient. Therefore, one has to go though a strict complicated procedures seeking permission from the doctor, hospital and patients as well. Most of the times, permission is not granted. Hence, the third advantage of aiding research is ruled out.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 509, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... records will still be in use. Thus, it doesnt suggest any kind of savings. Secondl...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 394, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'procedure'?
Suggestion: procedure
...e has to go though a strict complicated procedures seeking permission from the doctor, hos...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, well, whereas, while, as to, in contrast, kind of, in the same way

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 10.4613686534 124% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 12.0772626932 58% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 22.412803532 45% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 30.3222958057 102% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1532.0 1373.03311258 112% => OK
No of words: 282.0 270.72406181 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.43262411348 5.08290768461 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.04702891845 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75159025495 2.5805825403 107% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 145.348785872 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.556737588652 0.540411800872 103% => OK
syllable_count: 478.8 419.366225166 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 13.0662251656 130% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.410107664 49.2860985944 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1176470588 110.228320801 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5882352941 21.698381199 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0588235294 7.06452816374 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 4.33554083885 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.50801337989 0.272083759551 187% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15111306253 0.0996497079465 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104839341422 0.0662205650399 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.306498742915 0.162205337803 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0682346884386 0.0443174109184 154% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.3589403974 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 53.8541721854 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.0289183223 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.2367328918 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.36 8.42419426049 111% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 63.6247240618 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.7273730684 84% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.