TPO45 - integrated writing task
In the article we read that a fossil structure that is similar to bees nest have been found that dates back to 200 million years ago. Some of the scientists do not agree that the fossil belongs to bees, and provide few reasons for that claim. However, the professor thinks that the fossil belongs to bee, and consider the article's reasons unconvinsing.
First, the article points out that no sign of bee fossil could be traced in the discovered structure, besides that the oldest bee fossil goes back to just 100 million years ago. The speaker agrees that the oldest fossil of bee is related to 100 million years ago, but it does not mean bees did not exist 200 million years ago because they can be preserved just in trees that have risin substance. These trees were very rare in that time and started to scatter at a later time.
Second, the passage writes down that flowers did not exist in that time, while modern bees just use flower as their main source of food. In contrast to that, the lecturer says flowers were not present in that age but it does not mean bees were dependant on flower. Maybe they used pins and fern trees at that period for food, and after flower was created due to evolutionery process; bees adapt to use them.
Third, the article says that the bee net structure lack some parts of actual bee nest: like it does not have spiral caps that close the nest. However, the professor says that it is ture that the founded structure lacks spiral pattern, but scientists have found a chemical in the founded nest that is similar to the current bee nests. This chemical helps the nest to be waterproof.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
a fossil structure that is similar to bees nest have been found
a fossil structure .... has been found
the bee net structure lack some parts of actual bee nest
the bee net structure lacks some parts of actual bee nest
Sentence: However, the professor thinks that the fossil belongs to bee, and consider the article's reasons unconvinsing.
Error: unconvinsing Suggestion: unconvincing
Sentence: The speaker agrees that the oldest fossil of bee is related to 100 million years ago, but it does not mean bees did not exist 200 million years ago because they can be preserved just in trees that have risin substance.
Error: risin Suggestion: rising
Sentence: In contrast to that, the lecturer says flowers were not present in that age but it does not mean bees were dependant on flower.
Error: dependant Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Maybe they used pins and fern trees at that period for food, and after flower was created due to evolutionery process; bees adapt to use them.
Error: evolutionery Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: However, the professor says that it is ture that the founded structure lacks spiral pattern, but scientists have found a chemical in the founded nest that is similar to the current bee nests.
Error: ture Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
difficult_words: 50.0 63.6247240618 79% => More difficult words wanted.
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 294 250
No. of Characters: 1299 1200
No. of Different Words: 138 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.418 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.04 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 21 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.411 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.641 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.166 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 135, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...at dates back to 200 million years ago. Some of the scientists do not agree that the fossil...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 245, Rule ID: DEPENDENT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'dependent' on?
Suggestion: dependent
...that age but it does not mean bees were dependant on flower. Maybe they used pins and fer...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, however, may, second, so, third, while, in contrast, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 10.4613686534 115% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 12.0772626932 174% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 22.412803532 143% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 30.3222958057 109% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1339.0 1373.03311258 98% => OK
No of words: 294.0 270.72406181 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.55442176871 5.08290768461 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.10076629569 2.5805825403 81% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 145.348785872 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.540411800872 93% => OK
syllable_count: 391.5 419.366225166 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.55342163355 84% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.51434878587 330% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 13.0662251656 92% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 21.2450331126 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0841035054 49.2860985944 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.583333333 110.228320801 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 21.698381199 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 7.06452816374 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0739433816977 0.272083759551 27% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.034938492116 0.0996497079465 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0221909197264 0.0662205650399 34% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0466406820835 0.162205337803 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00966579840592 0.0443174109184 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 13.3589403974 92% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 72.5 53.8541721854 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.0289183223 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.41 12.2367328918 77% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.42419426049 89% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 63.6247240618 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.7273730684 98% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.498013245 110% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.