Movies and TV have more negative effects than positive effects on the way of young behave.
Movies and TV programs are considered as source of entertainment, strengthening people's awareness about various subjects. When it comes to TV and movies, controversy surrounds the issue of whether the behaviors of young people are affected by negative influences of these tools rather than positive ones or not. Some people are of the opinion that since such programs encourage consumerist attitudes among the youth by advertising poor-quality, flashy, and useless products, there is no doubt they affect the youth negatively. I believe, however, their advantages outweigh negative influences for the following reasons.
One of the most interesting aspects of the current discussion which demands keen contemplation is that there is a wide variety of movies and programs on TV encourage they youth have a healthy life style. Gambling, being addicted to drug, overdrinking alcohol, and playing computer games are the results of wrongly choosing the way of living which would be common among today's young people. But when TV programs show successful athletes and other professional sport players, they will be influenced by such well-known people. They may start thinking about the differences between the ways of their livings and those of the successful athletes. Then they might make decision about changing their life styles by setting such famous athletes as their role models to become popular by paying more attention to their health. Moreover, those young people might make a plan to give up all false habits by consulting with experienced experts shown on TV programs. This means turning from drug and wine to exercise, which brings hope, and happiness for the young individual.
Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion which needs to be reflected is that educational programs on TV will stimulate you to study hard. Many young people allocate their precious time in front of computer for chatting and checking Facebook account. If they watch movie about launching rocket by intelligent members of NASA, they will become more interested in educational program presented on TV and movies. Let me take an example of my younger brother. Since he watched a movie about space and astronaut and their valuable achievement, he has gotten strong tendency towards space and rocket. Then he has studied hard to be one of software programmer in NASA. In order to get higher score to be accepted as aerospace engineer at Sharif university, he has spent less time with his friends. As a result, without such informative and appropriate programs, we naughty brother will not set priority over education and studying.
To sum up, not only setting example our atheletes but also being passionat about education and learning are the results of positive effects of watching TV and movies. I hope that people do not judge such important tools in a biased way by considering them useless.
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Movies and TV programs are considered as source of entertainment
Movies and TV programs are considered as the source of entertainment
among the youth
among the youths
there is a wide variety of movies and programs on TV encourage they youth have a healthy life style.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
But when TV programs show successful athletes and other professional sport players, they will be influenced by such well-known people.
Description: 'they' refers to what? Be sensitive to use 'they'.
for the young individual.
for the young individuals.
will stimulate you to study hard.
will stimulate people to study hard. //Be sensitive to use 'you' here.
we naughty brother will not set
my naughty brother will not set
Sentence: Gambling, being addicted to drug, overdrinking alcohol, and playing computer games are the results of wrongly choosing the way of living which would be common among today's young people.
Error: overdrinking Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To sum up, not only setting example our atheletes but also being passionat about education and learning are the results of positive effects of watching TV and movies.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Error: passionat Suggestion: passionate
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
More sentences varieties wanted. Look, a lot of sentences start with subject 'they'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2382 1500
No. of Different Words: 267 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.134 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.689 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.824 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.277 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.452 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5