some people argue that childrens nowadays have more time to enjoy their childhood than the older generation had. do you agree or not?
Some people believe that children nowadays have more leisure time to enjoy their childhood than the older generation had. In my opinion, due to intensive competition in schools and increasing crime rate have forced many parents to supervise each moment of their children's life .
To begin with, competition in schools to get higher grades, resulted in sending students to extra classes such as week-end tuition or night classes. Eventhough, they have little time left for playing after their regular homework from schools, they are forced to go for such evening classes. An ideal example would be the increasing number tution centres in may countries with a good percentage of children who enrolled for such classes.So such children often see childhood as a period of pursueing educational needs for better future without much freedom to satisfy their emotional needs to enjoy with their friends.
Secondly, increasing number of antisocial behaviour among school children may be another reason for parents to limit childrens activities with their peer groups. This may be due to the growing awareness among parents through newspapers and television programmes. Although , it is acceptable in terms of their safety but actually they are denying their freedom to spent quality time with their age groups.
However, some people believe that children have more freedom and can do whatever they want. It may be true because of financial difficulties both parents in many families are engaged in full-time work. So their children left home alone and gets freedom. But, one should consider they are usually left home with some responsibilities such as looking after their younger siblings.
In conclusion, due to parents concern about their children”s future and safety , children nowadays lack freedom.
- In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? 70
- some people argue that childrens nowadays have more time to enjoy their childhood than the older generation had. do you agree or not? 60
- Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution? 63
due to intensive competition in schools and increasing crime rate have forced many parents to supervise each moment of their children's life
due to the intensive competition in schools and increasing crime rate, it has forced many parents to supervise each moment of their children's life
Secondly, increasing number of antisocial behaviour
Secondly, the increasing number of antisocial behaviour
they are denying their freedom to spent quality time with their age groups.
Description: 'they' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
So their children left home alone and gets freedom
So their children left home alone and got freedom
Sentence: Although , it is acceptable in terms of their safety but actually they are denying their freedom to spent quality time with their age groups.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and spent
Sentence: In conclusion, due to parents concern about their childrens future and safety , children nowadays lack freedom.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and concern
Sentence: An ideal example would be the increasing number tution centres in may countries with a good percentage of children who enrolled for such classes.So such children often see childhood as a period of pursueing educational needs for better future without much freedom to satisfy their emotional needs to enjoy with their friends.
Error: tution Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: pursueing Suggestion: pursuing
Sentence: Secondly, increasing number of antisocial behaviour among school children may be another reason for parents to limit childrens activities with their peer groups.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: In conclusion, due to parents concern about their childrens future and safety , children nowadays lack freedom.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1483 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.24 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.539 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.063 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.629 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5