Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? Or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?
Leisure time can be spent in many different ways. These days the way of spending free time totally changed. One popular option for people is spending their free time in front of the TV or being busy with their devices. On the other hand, some people share their concern about this way of lifestyle. From my point of view that’s really beneficial if we use our free time in useful activity and in this essay I will explain why.
To begin, peoples think their leisure time should just be fun .Actually, they believe that the pressure of their jobs make them so tired, hence, it’s their desire to have fun with their enjoyable devices. By doing this, they don’t need any special consideration for doing or making useful activity. For instance, when they play a computer game they just push some keys while they are enjoying interesting virtual atmosphere. In this process, there is no responsibility and limitation. It goes without saying that this only satisfy people just in the short time of their life.
When we turn to the other side of the argument, relying on virtual life, or the TV channel on free time decrease the rate of societal health. Owe to this, people expose to suffer from obesity and some other kind of diseases, for instance This is supported by some reports that sitting too long in front of television could lead to problems of eyes and back, there are many activities to avoid this problem. For example, walking, jogging and trekking in a recreational park improve their physical strength and give an opportunity to visit nature and environment. Future step is to, there is a general view that proves nowadays people are less creative and they are not interested in social activity. They just have some experience according to their TV programs or virtual life. Hence. By insisting on this kind of lifestyle they lose their chance to participate in society with some voluntary activity which is really beneficial for their social skills and causes a long term sense of fulfillment for them.Additionally, they lose their ability to be creative for changing their daily routine.
To sum up, taking the significant aforementioned discussions and supports into account, it seems using leisure time in useful activity make people more healthy ,sociable and creative. To put it briefly,it causes a sense of fulfillment in the long term.
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Sentence: When we turn to the other side of the argument, relying on virtual life, or the TV channel on free time decrease the rate of societal health.
Description: The fragment time decrease the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace decrease with verb, past tense
this only satisfy people
this only satisfies people
using leisure time in useful activity make people more healthy
using leisure time in useful activity makes people more healthy
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 402 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.744 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 12.197 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5