Some people think school should spend money on some social activities for students, while others believe that it is better for school to improve food in student cafeteria. What would you recommend school to spend their money?

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Some people think school should spend money on some social activities for students, while others believe that it is better for school to improve food in student cafeteria. What would you recommend school to spend their money?

It goes without saying that schools should pay a lot attentions to students. In fact, there are many ways to enhance students’ welfare. Therefore, when it comes to how to use money to improve schools, people may have different opinions. However, according to following reasons and some personal experiences, I believe that it is better for schools to hold some social activities for students in after school hour than to improve food in student cafeteria.

First, schools emphasize on students future, and holding social activities after school helps students to adapt the society earlier. When I was a university student, for example, our school had lots of social activities, such as, community services or company visiting, which made me have a great chance to understand the real world. Furthermore, I got an intern in a giant corporation and learned a lot. Therefore, to make students realize the future, schools should spend money on social activities.

Second, schools want to aid students to loosen their stress, and attending social activities makes students relaxed. Take my brother, Fred, for instance, he is a senior high school student now, and he is struggling for university entrance exams, which is so competitive in our country. Therefore, he has many pressure. Fortunately, his school has many social activities after school, like baseball team, swimming team or hiking club, and attending some sports activities help him to release his stress and keep studying without whining. Hence, by taking several activities, students can relax.

Last but not least, schools are eager to attract excellent students, and brilliant students want to attend various activities after school. Take the best university in our country for example, the university offers so many activities, not only sport team but also associations with other universities, which can broaden students’ horizon and make new friends. Consequently, more and more top senior high school students want to attend that university and enjoy the various lives. Accordingly, having different activities can attract good students.

Admittedly, schools should care students’ health, so it may seem reasonable to improve food in student cafeteria at first. Nevertheless, based on aforementioned reasons, I have to doubt that schools care more about students’ future, mental condition, and wan to have better students. As a result, I strongly recommend that it is better for schools to have some social activities for students in after school hour when schools have extra money.

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2015-08-05 fred042102 70 view
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Sentence: First, schools emphasize on students future, and holding social activities after school helps students to adapt the society earlier.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and future

attending some sports activities help him
attending some sports activities helps him

flaws:
No. of Words: 400 while No. of Different Words: 199

the ideal condition:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 2077 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.192 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.65 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.263 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5