The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.

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The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.

Given is a line chart that illustrates the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. There are three lines presenting three different meals: pizza, fish & chips, and hamburger. According to the chart, it is obvious that, as years went by, fish & chips consumption dropped from the most selected meals to the least favorite meals; on the other hand, a significant increase was seen for the pizza figure and the hamburger figure.

To begin with, on the premise of the given time period, the fish & chips consumption outnumbered the other figures, at 100 to roughly 10 in 1975. From that time on, the fish & chips figure declined sharply and ultimately reached its lowest number, 38, in 2000.

On the contrary, hamburger trend climbed up significantly, with the number of hamburgers eaten in a year increasing from only 10 times in 1975 to 100 in 2000. This increase has shifted hamburger to the top position as the most chosen junk food in 2000. Similar to hamburger figure, pizza consumption jumped from 10 in 1975 to roughly 85 which was only slightly below the former.

Overall, the chart has shown us that the Australian teenagers' preference has altered during the 25 year period.

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Sentence: According to the chart, it is obvious that, as years went by, fish & chips consumption dropped from the most selected meals to the least favorite meals; on the other hand, a significant increase was seen for the pizza figure and the hamburger figure.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to chips and consumption

Sentence: To begin with, on the premise of the given time period, the fish & chips consumption outnumbered the other figures, at 100 to roughly 10 in 1975.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to chips and consumption

Sentence: From that time on, the fish & chips figure declined sharply and ultimately reached its lowest number, 38, in 2000.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to chips and figure

flaws:
You only give a start point and the end point. How is the process?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 204 200
No. of Characters: 967 1000
No. of Different Words: 107 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.779 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.74 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.556 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.441 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.699 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

is it better?

Given is a line chart that illustrates consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. There are three lines presenting three different trends of meals: pizza, fish & chips, and hamburger. According to the chart, it is obvious that fish & chips consumption dropped from the most selected meals to the least favorite meals; on the other hand, a significant increase was seen for the pizza figure and the hamburger figure.

On the first ten years of the given period, the consumption of fish & chips outnumbered the other two figures. Although there were some rises, the trend of fish & chips tended to decrease from 100 in 1975 to roughly 95 in 1985. On the other hand, the quantity of hamburgers eaten by Australian teenagers jumped significantly and by the end of 1985, it was as high as the figure of fish&chips. A similar upward trend was seen for the pizza line. This, however, was not as sharp the line of fish & chips, which increased from roughly 10 in 1975 to 40 in 1985.

On the second period from 1985 to 2000, it is clear that Australian teenagers' preference has altered, which is evidenced in the changing of junk food rank by the end of the period. During the second period, the fish & chips figure dropped to its lowest point from 85 in 1985 to a slightly below 40 in 2000. In contrast, the hamburger and the pizza, in term of the amount of consumption, continued to climb up dramatically which placed the hamburger on the top position followed by pizza in 2000, 100 and roughly 85 respectively.