The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares three enterprises in terms of participation of men in senior development position from 1980 to 2010. The units are measured in percentages. Generally, the number of men in senior position increased throughout the given period, with some exceptions. While the figure of IBM shows significant increases and Microsoft's figure tends to increase, Apple's figure depicts a rather erratic trend.
Looking more closely at the figure of IBM, there was a noticeable rise in 1990, with the number of men's involvement increasing from 2% in 1980 and 1985 to 13% in 1990. This number doubled to 26% and continued to increase by 7% to 33% in 2000. By 2010, men occupied senior positions has risen to peak at 63%, which placed IBM as the company with the highest percentages of the men's engagement.
Likewise, Microsoft's figure increased gradually from 1980 to 2000. From that time on, it increased significantly, with the percentages improving by 35% to 45% in 2010. This rise, however, was not as dramatic as the IBM's trend.
By contrast, the figure of Apple is rather erratic. Apple, that hired men more than the other two companies in 1980 (15%), experienced a slight fall at the beginning of the given period. The figure of Apple started to recover in 1990, and five years afterwards, reached 21%. Regardless of a decline in 2000, it continued to go up in 2010 at 23%. Surprisingly, this marginal rise shifted Apple, in terms of the number of men hired, from the first rank in 1980 to the third position after Microsoft in 2010.
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men occupied senior positions has risen to peak at 63%
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Words: 264 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 10
No. of Words: 264 200
No. of Characters: 1230 1000
No. of Different Words: 133 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.659 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.735 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 80 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.274 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4