TPO24

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TPO24

In this set of material, the passage discusses a theory studies three pieces of evidence from remains of actual tissues in a broke T.rex's leg which might reveal a good explanation about that animal fossils.However, the professor in the lecture casts doubts those three pieces of evidence as the following.

First, the author states that the presence of many small branching channels inside the hollows of the broken leg might be a remnant of some soft and flexible organic substances which could be blood vessels.While the professor believes that those branches are not necessary blood vessels, it might be a remnant of other organic substances such as bacteria which colonized inside the bone of that fossil and created that hollow branches.

Seconds, the presence of the spheres which contained iron-a material which is dark reddish in color, could be RBC, which responsible for transferring the oxygen as the passage states. Whereas, the speaker, believes that the T.rex animal might not have red blood cells and that dark reddish spheres remains were not red blood cells of that dinosaur they might be minerals remains of another dead animal.

Third, the writer states that the test of the collagen matrix in that dinosaur leg bone explains the biochemical materials found in the living tissues. While the professor refutes this, he thinks that the fact that collagen materials could not stay that longer 0000 years long ant suited with the million years old fossilized leg T.rex. .He believes this collagen content could come from much recently such as researchers who handled that bone.

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the passage discusses a theory studies three pieces of evidence
the passage discusses a theory which studies three pieces of evidence
the passage discusses a theory studying three pieces of evidence

are not necessary blood vessels
are not necessarily blood vessels

such as bacteria which colonized inside the bone
such as bacteria which is colonized inside the bone
such as bacteria colonized inside the bone

the presence of the spheres which contained iron-a material which is dark reddish in color,
Description: don't put two 'which' in one sentence

could be RBC, which responsible for transferring
could be RBC, which is responsible for transferring

Sentence: Whereas, the speaker, believes that the T.rex animal might not have red blood cells and that dark reddish spheres remains were not red blood cells of that dinosaur they might be minerals remains of another dead animal.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to spheres and remains

flaws:
Be sensitive to use 'that'
about that animal fossil
and that dark reddish spheres
he thinks that the fact that collagen materials could not stay that longer

you may use 'the' instead

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 12
No. of Words: 264 250
No. of Characters: 1309 1200
No. of Different Words: 136 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.315 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 44 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.488 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.823 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4