The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position
In the given statement, the speaker claims that a sense of cooperation is more important than being competitive in exercising leadership in any field. In some sense, it is true that to be a good leader, who has to lead a group of people and to draw their best potentials for achieving a goal, one should learn how to work with others rather than compete against. By focusing on the necessity of cooperation for leaders, however, the speaker is ignoring the benefits of a competitive drive for leadership.
Needless to say, few would disagree that one of the overriding virtue that a leader should possess is motivating her team members to develop their full ability so that the team work together to achieve their goal. By instilling vision and inspiration into the people, a leader can help them find their potentials that they can develop and utilize as working in the group. Thus, to be an effective leader, one should know how to communicate with others as well as motivate and work with them so that all can be included in the term cooperation. Consider, for example, a leader who only emphasizes the value of competition without providing any support to his team members, and criticizes for an even trivial mistake. The people under his leadership would finally leave eventually and the team would finally fall apart. Thus, to grow young people as effective leaders in a society, a nation should consider the importance of cooperation.
Notwithstanding the integral role of a sense of cooperation in leadership, I still believe that it is competitive individuals who can exercise powerful and successful leadership. Maybe once one become a leader, cooperation may become more important, but to have successful leadership, one should become a leader first. To become a leader, one should be ambitious and competitive to prove her capability to others, and to be successful in this process, she should know what are her strengths and weaknesses as well as how strategically she can manage those to achieve a goal more efficiently than others. Only those who can prove themselves as capable and goal-driven individuals can become a leader. This shows that to cultivate its young people as efficient leaders, a nation should teach them the value of being self-assertive and fighting for their goals.
Moreover, effective leaders should be able to guide their teams to successfully achieve their goal. Therefore, simply having an ability to harmonize and work with the members of the team is not enough to be a good leader. Of course, cooperation is also important as aforementioned in achieving a goal, but leaders should be able to provide vision and to turn the teams endeavor into fruition. In this regards, especially in this quickly changing world where we encounter new competitors everyday, we need an ambitious leader who is very focused, maybe even aggressive, to achieve what we want.
To sum, to provide better opportunity for their youth to be a great leader, nations should teach them a sense of competition, rather than cooperation. Though cooperation is also critical in leadership, to be a leader first, one needs to know how to strategically win others and once he becomes a leader, competitiveness is important to enable his team to achieve a goal over others.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
The essay is a little bit off the topic. The topic is: how societies prepare leadership for young people? while you: how to be a leader?
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 547 350
No. of Characters: 2673 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.836 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.887 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.86 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 195 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.89 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 397, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...rn the teams endeavor into fruition. In this regards, especially in this quickly cha...
^^^^
Line 7, column 488, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...orld where we encounter new competitors everyday, we need an ambitious leader who is ver...
^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'however', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'thus', 'well', 'as to', 'for example', 'of course', 'as well as', 'it is true']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.195364238411 0.240241500013 81% => OK
Verbs: 0.165562913907 0.157235817809 105% => OK
Adjectives: 0.067880794702 0.0880659088768 77% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0711920529801 0.0497285424764 143% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0496688741722 0.0444667217837 112% => OK
Prepositions: 0.110927152318 0.12292977631 90% => OK
Participles: 0.0314569536424 0.0406280797675 77% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.94463050393 2.79330140395 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0546357615894 0.030933414821 177% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0943708609272 0.0997080785238 95% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0364238410596 0.0249443105267 146% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0198675496689 0.0148568991511 134% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3288.0 2732.02544248 120% => OK
No of words: 547.0 452.878318584 121% => OK
Chars per words: 6.01096892139 6.0361032391 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.58838876751 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.36928702011 0.366273622748 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.2760511883 0.280924506359 98% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.193784277879 0.200843997647 96% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.144424131627 0.132149295362 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94463050393 2.79330140395 105% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 219.290929204 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.427787934186 0.48968727796 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.8939825911 55.4138127331 90% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6194690265 97% => OK
Sentence length: 27.35 23.380412469 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.7667349726 59.4972553346 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.4 141.124799967 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.35 23.380412469 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.85 0.674092028746 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.21349557522 38% => OK
Readability: 54.95511883 51.4728631049 107% => OK
Elegance: 1.17919075145 1.64882698954 72% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.329878098719 0.391690518653 84% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.120943925156 0.123202303941 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0610978949726 0.077325440228 79% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.54818301562 0.547984918172 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.116435988694 0.149214159877 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.148954242447 0.161403998019 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0661817656434 0.0892212321368 74% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.439800875801 0.385218514788 114% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0361553748248 0.0692045440612 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.250111322317 0.275328986314 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0649288859505 0.0653680567796 99% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.4325221239 173% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.30420353982 38% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88274336283 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 16.0 7.22455752212 221% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 3.66592920354 55% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.70907079646 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 18.0 13.5995575221 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.