13. Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term.
As a matter of fact, everybody wants to have a wonderful job in his/her life, so people have always tried to find a appropriate career for themselves. Undoubtedly, some job positions look attractive at first and they are going to be less attractive during a period of time. Consequently, finding a suitable place in society for each person is necessary to guaranty their satisfaction.
First and foremost, school materials for each career are different than actual works. Each student has some knowledge about his/her favorite major, but it is not enough for them. Most jobs are different in the real world. Having many information about each job is the most important factor to be successful in the job market.
Second, each student has some dreams about his/her future job. Most of these dreams are based on wrong data. Children do not have that much experience about jobs, so they are going to make some common mistakes easily. For example, you might think about photography a lot during your school ages, but after graduation in school you will find out that there are not that many job opportunities in the world. In that case, although you love photography, you might prefer to choose another major for your future, because there is a big different between your dream and the actual job.
Last but not least, people's mind is changing. As every person know, people have some choices during their life. They might choose one partner for the rest of their life, but after a while, they will decide to change their partner. These kinds of things are happening for many people especially young adults. People can try a variety of majors to earn enough experience for the future. As an illustration, imagine a guy who is 20 years old. He has no idea about his future and in this time, he prefer to work as an accountant. If he learns many majors during first years of his job, he will earn lots of experiences in those years, so he can be sure about his future, because he has enough knowledge in many careers. If he doesn't like one of them, he can switch his major quickly.
To sum up, having a variety of information about some careers is not only good for student's choices, but also is good for their future.
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flaws:
It is off the topic. The topic is not 'why Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term. '
but the advantages of 'Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term.'
so we need to give advantages like:
because it can make more money;
because it can give more job satisfaction;
because it can save time...
and so on...
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Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: ? Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1770 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.492 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.96 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5