The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument concludes that the town council of Balmer Island will reach 50 percent annual reduction in moped accindents with the limiting which limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. It based on the premises that mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation on Balmer Islandm that the population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 in summer, and that Seaville's town council achieved the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents last year with similar limits. However, this argument is logically flawed. There are many questions needed to be asked.
First, are mopeds in Balmer Island which using for transportation largely rented? Despite that this answer seems to be yes in this argument, it was left as unanswered. Maybe each person on that island has one or more than one moped, and then the answer must be no and this conclsion should be wrong. In addition, the limit that cuts the allowed number of rented mopeds for every moped rental company may be futile because there happens to be a moped store which sells cheap and good mopeds. Then every one would buy one for oneself and don't have to rent.
Second, are the circumstance of Balmer Island and that of Seaville the same? What if the conditions of the transpotation in Seaville are so bad that accident rate is very high while the conditions in Balmer Island are better? Moreover, with straight and clean streets, less cars, and people observing transportation rules, the accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians are largely because of neglecting traffic rule. Then the limit should be prohibition of these people who neglecting rules from using mopeds.
In the end, the argument that focusing on that the town council of Balmer Island will reach 50 percent annual reduction in moped accindents with the limiting which limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season is unreasonable. If the author include the answer to queations that if mopeds in Balmer Island which using for transportation are largely rented, and that if the circumstance of Balmer Island and that of Seaville are the same, the argument will be greatly strengthened. Inspite of this, the argument is rather weak and there is no reason to accept it.
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Sentence: It based on the premises that mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation on Balmer Islandm that the population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 in summer, and that Seaville's town council achieved the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents last year with similar limits.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to It and based
Sentence: First, are mopeds in Balmer Island which using for transportation largely rented?
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to which and using
Sentence: Then the limit should be prohibition of these people who neglecting rules from using mopeds.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to who and neglecting
Sentence: If the author include the answer to queations that if mopeds in Balmer Island which using for transportation are largely rented, and that if the circumstance of Balmer Island and that of Seaville are the same, the argument will be greatly strengthened.
Description: The fragment author include the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace include with verb, past tense
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to which and using
Sentence: The argument concludes that the town council of Balmer Island will reach 50 percent annual reduction in moped accindents with the limiting which limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season.
Error: accindents Suggestion: accidents
Sentence: Maybe each person on that island has one or more than one moped, and then the answer must be no and this conclsion should be wrong.
Error: conclsion Suggestion: conclusion
Sentence: What if the conditions of the transpotation in Seaville are so bad that accident rate is very high while the conditions in Balmer Island are better?
Error: transpotation Suggestion: transportation
Sentence: In the end, the argument that focusing on that the town council of Balmer Island will reach 50 percent annual reduction in moped accindents with the limiting which limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season is unreasonable.
Error: accindents Suggestion: accidents
Sentence: If the author include the answer to queations that if mopeds in Balmer Island which using for transportation are largely rented, and that if the circumstance of Balmer Island and that of Seaville are the same, the argument will be greatly strengthened.
Error: queations Suggestion: questions
flaws:
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No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 1931 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.849 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5