TPO46-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
From the ancient times, people, especially the young youth needed heroes to find out what they want from their lives and what is the best possible way to be successful. In this way, a vast number of people believe that famous people have an important impact on the young generation rather than old people. Others, however, think that older people are influenced by celebrities just as younger people do. Actually, I am of the opinion that thoughts of famous people have an unavoidable impact on the young youth for a specific number of reasons.
As for the first reason, mankind has always tried to find the best way to be successful. Young people, especially teenagers need to imitate successful people's behavior in order to find a way to achieve their goals. Hence, whenever they see that a famous person ,such as an athlete or an actor, who has whatever they dream about, they will start to act like them, and do whatever is essential to be in their shoes. As a vivid example, my sister is a teenager and she always dreams about being popular among people and being rich. Therefore, she looks at celebrities as heroes and reads their biography and follows their news to get some points that can help her to accomplish her goals.
Secondly, technology has improved a lot and internet has become an integral part of every individual person's life. Actually, I believe that younger people are more adapted to use technological devices and they easily learn how to use internet, mobile phones, computers and other pieces of technology. On the other hand, whenever old people want to use these devices, they will get into some problems because they are used to work with some simple things. Consequently, they may not have the access to different information about celebrities and it makes it hard for them to follow famous people. For instance, my grandmother can never turn on a computer without help, so that she prefers to do the things that are easier and she will get tired of asking others to help her just to follow her heroes.
Finally, I believe that younger people come out of their safety zone easier. They want to experience lots of things and try whatever can help them to be a famous people. In addition, they dream about being famous, because they know that they have enough time to do different types of things. Nevertheless, old people think that they do not have enough time to take risks, because if they fail in something, they may lose everything that they have collected over years and it makes it hard for them to take risks and come out of their safe zones. Therefore, whenever they are impressed by a famous person's idea, they just wish if they had more time try it, but younger people will definitely try it because they know that they have time and they have nothing to lose.
To sum it up, from my vantage point celebrities influence younger generation more than older ones because they want to be famous, they have the ability to use technological devices and they are risk takers.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 261, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
..., whenever they see that a famous person ,such as an athlete or an actor, who has ...
^^
Line 5, column 102, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...me an integral part of every individual persons life. Actually, I believe that younger ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 418, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[5]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'used to working'.
Suggestion: used to working
...get into some problems because they are used to work with some simple things. Consequently, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 598, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...whenever they are impressed by a famous persons idea, they just wish if they had more t...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, consequently, finally, first, hence, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, as for, for instance, in addition, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2493.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 528.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72159090909 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42176053708 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.450757575758 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 775.8 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 47.5855807992 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.65 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.2 5.45110844103 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227722160189 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0809552117714 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0467966171702 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143046156063 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0310062740881 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.