Some people believe that video games could inspire young students1 interest and make their study more efficient rather than distracting them and a waste of time, so young students should be allowed to play video games
Entertainment, the foundation of a satisfying life, has aroused heated discussions and even debates over whether students should be allowed to play video games. Playing video games，in many people’s opinion，could inspire young students’ interest and benefit their academic learning. On the contrary to these people’s view is my perspective that young students shouldn’t be allowed to play video games.
What must be prioritized is that appreciating scientific movies can place young students as beneficiaries rather than playing video games. Initially, it is scientific movies that will stimulate students’ interest about knowledge，not playing video games. Specifically, only via watching scientific movies can student have passion for more exciting knowledge. Additionally, never should we ignore the fact that scientific movies can convey a lot of academic knowledge to students which can’t be learned in the class and video games. To be more specific, the more scientific movies students appreciate, the more knowledge they will obtain. Among numerous scientific movies is the one called The Martian. Not only can arise people’s passion for astronomy，but also plenty of knowledge about Mars can be attained by students. How can playing video games offer these diverse knowledge in a vivid way?
What is equally worth discussing is that playing video games will distract young students from academic learning and waste lots of time. To begin with，if students pay more attention to playing video games, they can’t concentrate on their study. To explain further, it is easily for students to be so addicted to video games that they don^ have any enthusiasm for academic knowledge. Moreover, playing video games usually waste too much time for students, which will hamper their academic performance. In detail, if students allocate too much time to playing video games, they won’t have enough time to finish assignment，which will impair their academic ability. A recent research conducted by Harvard University, aiming to investigate the effect of playing video games, concludes that playing video games will undermine students5 efficiency. According to an interviewee, if he distributed too much time to playing video games，he wouldn’t have the excellent performance in his academic filed.
Scientific movies, the significant ingredient of a superb life, offer young students approaches to acquire diversified knowledge with great enthusiasm, as illustrated in the example of The Martian. Playing video games，the obstacle of a supreme life, wastes plenty of student’s time and lower their efficiency, as exemplified by the research conducted by Harvard University. In conclude，only by forbidding young students from playing video games, they can benefit a lot.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 894, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a vivid way" with adverb for "vivid"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...deo games offer these diverse knowledge in a vivid way? What is equally worth discussing i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, moreover, so, thus, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 9.8082437276 194% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2425.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 417.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.81534772182 4.8611393121 120% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19397093764 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479616306954 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 730.8 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.7314935468 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.476190476 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8571428571 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.09523809524 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.398862111614 0.236089414692 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.151819195373 0.076458572812 199% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0794585838184 0.0737576698707 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279939351853 0.150856017488 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0639453138518 0.0645574589148 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 11.7677419355 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.27 58.1214874552 61% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 10.1575268817 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.48 10.9000537634 151% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.