Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Essay topics:

Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

People are living in an era when the proliferation of goods considerably facilitate their lives, coincide with vexing them to choose exactly what they really need. Defying the questions of credibility and authenticity, advertisements have indispensable merits. To some extent, the emergence of them can serve as a conducive approach to lead customers to purchase without tedious selection. Nevertheless, people's views diverge from each other on the question whether targeted advertisements towards children should be sustained. Some people hold the idea that would benefit the same way as it exert on adults. Conversely, others steadfastly boycott these advertisements for they may set off a string of irreversibly severe consequences on children. From my point of view, the differences of mental and physical conditions between the young and the adults may stand as a cogent limitations on children to choose goods composedly. In this regard, we need to contemplate before the publication of these targeted advertisements.
First and foremost, it's disreputable that children are too naive to discern things they really need, in this sense they may be driven by these seemingly eye-catching advertisements, begged their parents and clamor to buy things unnecessary at all. The financial burdens foisted on the parents accordingly will definitely intensify the tensions of the family, especially for these young and newly-wed couples. Besides this, these advertisements may urge children to eat junk food and since these food could be exceedingly debilitating, they may even make damages on children's bodies at their most flourishing age. this kind of accidents just happened to my nephew, who is only 4 years old, however, under the temptations of advertisements for fried-chicken, he has gained surprising weights in several months and eventually proved to be unhealthy to some extent because of over intake of fat.
Furthermore, these advertisements can serve as a tool to entice children to buy exorbitant clothes or shoes to boast with their friends. children are susceptible and credulous for they are too young to gain the ability of self-discipline and are easily entrapped themselves with the vicious spiral of pursuing brands blindly. The rapidly increasing figure of luxury clothes dressed on children exemplify the fact they are outright devoid of self-control ability and may subject readily to the lures. this trend may even escalate if parents have no means to refuse their children's persistent requests.
To illustrate, advertisements do enable us to buy favorable goods without the hassle of comparing everything tediously before purchasing, but their positive influences are mainly on mature and clear-minded groups. when it comes to advertising directly towards children, we can not assure that these advertisements would not hamper the natural and healthy growing process of children and lead them astray.
In a nutshell, blemishes encompassed within advertisements towards children reinforce the idea that it is detrimental for the family and may cause severe results if we permit their circulations. Based on these statements mentioned before, I want to reiterate my standpoint that by no means should advertisements directly towards children be allowed.

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Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 446, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...eoples views diverge from each other on the question whether targeted advertisements towards childre...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 702, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sements for they may set off a string of irreversibly severe consequences on chil...
^^
Line 1, column 878, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'limitation'?
Suggestion: limitation
...ng and the adults may stand as a cogent limitations on children to choose goods composedly....
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 489, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this food' or 'these foods'?
Suggestion: this food; these foods
...rge children to eat junk food and since these food could be exceedingly debilitating, they...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 613, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...s bodies at their most flourishing age. this kind of accidents just happened to my n...
^^^^
Line 3, column 137, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Children
...s or shoes to boast with their friends. children are susceptible and credulous for they ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 500, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...y and may subject readily to the lures. this trend may even escalate if parents have...
^^^^
Line 4, column 214, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...inly on mature and clear-minded groups. when it comes to advertising directly toward...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, besides, but, conversely, first, furthermore, however, if, may, nevertheless, really, so, then, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2781.0 1977.66487455 141% => OK
No of words: 501.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.55089820359 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1982937252 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 212.727598566 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.570858283433 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 856.8 618.680645161 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.1580252801 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.05 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.05 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.8 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262971109357 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0801901951774 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0821593731211 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16536760672 0.150856017488 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0650084096008 0.0645574589148 101% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 11.7677419355 146% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 58.1214874552 65% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.21 10.9000537634 140% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.79 8.01818996416 122% => OK
difficult_words: 156.0 86.8835125448 180% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.