New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time .
Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
New technologies are playing an increasingly more important role in the field of children’s entertainments. While some people say that these development enable the younger generation to enjoy their free time diversely. I tend to feel the advantages of this do not outweigh the disadvantage and will outline my reasons below.
I admit there are some advantages to developing technologies for kids. In terms of participation, people have experienced various entertainment such as 4D, virtual reality and games. The most significant benefit of this trend is that people can feel real even if they are not in a real situation.
Nevertheless, My support goes to the idea that this issue has some serious problems. Firstly, many activities using new technologies are restricted to indoors. Most of the entertainment devices in need of electricity make people do not go outside freely. According to many BBC, children in modern days prefer indoor activities to outdoor activities. Furthermore, this situation results in severe health problems such as a lack of vitamins, loss of muscles and depress. Secondly, Spending free time with one-way communication devices which have a strong stimulate exerts a negative influence on the young generation. These days, young kids are exposed to a huge amount of violent and obscene information through games, TV, movies and especially through the internet. For illustrates, we often see some cruel cases that young people who had been unable to discriminate between reality and a game committed a crime. The more create vivid technologies, the much children can be addicted to unreal life since they have no ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Overall, I think that, although there are clearly positive effects on spending free time with new technologies, the negative effects on the same filed are stronger for the reasons above.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 114, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ield of children's entertainments. While some people say that these development ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 141, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this development' or 'these developments'?
Suggestion: this development; these developments
...ertainments. While some people say that these development enable the younger generation to enjoy ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ssue has some serious problems. Firstly, many activities using new technologies a...
^^
Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun BBC seems to be countable; consider using: 'many '.
Suggestion: many
... do not go outside freely. According to many BBC, children in modern days prefer indoor ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 954, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...The more create vivid technologies, the much children can be addicted to unreal life...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, while, i think, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1581.0 1615.20841683 98% => OK
No of words: 297.0 315.596192385 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32323232323 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06535285467 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.622895622896 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 495.9 506.74238477 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.179605593 49.4020404114 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.8125 106.682146367 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5625 20.7667163134 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 7.06120827912 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.269753210885 0.244688304435 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0696998588574 0.084324248473 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0622735348946 0.0667982634062 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155160370437 0.151304729494 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0707012613356 0.056905535591 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 13.0946893788 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 50.2224549098 89% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.4159519038 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.26 8.58950901804 108% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 78.4519038076 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.