The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department,during the past year,fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year.And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year.Clearly,the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers.Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available.Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising"
The recommendation of increasing the advertising budget made by the advertising director of Super Screen Movie Production company seems to have developed on numerous unwarranted assumptions and biases.The most important one that is conspicuous here is the fact that fewer audience does not directly imply a need for bigger wallet for the advertising department.Also, the report should be expressed in more quantifiable terms in order to narrate an accurate story.
Firstly, a dearth in the audience of the past year cannot be directly attributed to need for more expenses to be made on the advertising front.People not going to the movies can be a general scenario in the past year,with a varied set of reasons.It is possible that the past year resulted in a minor - if not an obvious one- economic setback which affected the audience in general.This can be verified by the company on digging deeper into the possible reasons that would prevent a customer from going to the movies.
Apart from this, there is also a possibility that the company did not cater to the expectations of its high revenue generating customer segment.For instance, it is possible that the company has a vast customer base among the younger generations, and the past year did not see many movies being produced in genres popular among this segment of the customer base.As a result, a vast segment of the customer base was left lost out on.An accurate mapping of the customer base to the movies produced in the past year would thus help identifying whether this was a potential cause.
As discussed in the preceding paragraph,not producing the "right kind" of movies, also makes one ponder over the definition of "good quality movies" that the report implies.This definition seems to be too vague and loosely bound to the increase in positive reviews.This increase in positive reviews for some "specific Super Screen movies" does not define a good quality movie in general.Its is highly likely that the reviewers belonged to a particular customer segment that enjoyed that "specific" genre of movies. Also, a percentage increase in positive reviews does not equate to the same amount of appreciation in numbers.The company should compare the number of total reviews in the past year with those of other years and then take a call on this point.
Lastly, understanding the motive of the Avertisement director behind recommending a larger wallet for his own department is also something to tak note of.It is possible that personal gains would bias his conclusions and recommendations,as an expensive department implies,in most cases, an expensive and wealthy director.To tackle this, a probe, as to whether the existing advertisement channels can be optimised to attain desired results, should be launched.
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- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company."According to a recent report from our marketing department,during the past year,fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in 29
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-taken-me…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2277 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.865 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.717 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 52 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 34.364 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.713 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...rous unwarranted assumptions and biases.The most important one that is conspicuous ...
^^^
Line 1, column 362, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...r wallet for the advertising department.Also, the report should be expressed in more...
^^^^
Line 3, column 144, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: People
...ses to be made on the advertising front.People not going to the movies can be a genera...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 217, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , with
...n be a general scenario in the past year,with a varied set of reasons.It is possible ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 247, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
... past year,with a varied set of reasons.It is possible that the past year resulted...
^^
Line 3, column 382, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... which affected the audience in general.This can be verified by the company on diggi...
^^^^
Line 5, column 145, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...igh revenue generating customer segment.For instance, it is possible that the compa...
^^^
Line 5, column 362, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...among this segment of the customer base.As a result, a vast segment of the custome...
^^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: An
... the customer base was left lost out on.An accurate mapping of the customer base t...
^^
Line 5, column 529, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to identify' or 'identify'.
Suggestion: to identify; identify
...oduced in the past year would thus help identifying whether this was a potential cause. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 40, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , not
... As discussed in the preceding paragraph,not producing the 'right kind' of...
^^^^
Line 7, column 194, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...ty movies' that the report implies.This definition seems to be too vague and lo...
^^^^
Line 7, column 286, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...und to the increase in positive reviews.This increase in positive reviews for some &...
^^^^
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Its
... define a good quality movie in general.Its is highly likely that the reviewers bel...
^^^
Line 7, column 666, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... same amount of appreciation in numbers.The company should compare the number of to...
^^^
Line 9, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...rtment is also something to tak note of.It is possible that personal gains would b...
^^
Line 9, column 236, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , as
...bias his conclusions and recommendations,as an expensive department implies,in most...
^^^
Line 9, column 271, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , in
...tions,as an expensive department implies,in most cases, an expensive and wealthy di...
^^^
Line 9, column 321, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ases, an expensive and wealthy director.To tackle this, a probe, as to whether the...
^^
Line 9, column 346, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...althy director.To tackle this, a probe, as to whether the existing advertisement channels can...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, so, then, thus, apart from, as to, for instance, in general, as a result, in most cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2380.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 450.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28888888889 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1477498102 2.78398813304 113% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506666666667 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 754.2 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 75.0 22.8473053892 328% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 109.467524357 57.8364921388 189% => OK
Chars per sentence: 396.666666667 119.503703932 332% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 75.0 23.324526521 322% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 21.0 5.70786347227 368% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184561977316 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0892580645433 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0438258925004 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100101432465 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418125793928 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 41.0 14.3799401198 285% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -13.11 48.3550499002 -27% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 7.1628742515 222% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 33.7 12.197005988 276% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.59 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.74 8.32208582834 141% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 30.5 12.3882235529 246% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 32.0 11.1389221557 287% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 11.9071856287 260% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.