The following appeared in the Health section of the Greenhorne Gazette:
“Motilac is a substance that occurs naturally in the human digestive tract. Many consumers of dietary supplements containing motilac report significant easing of digestive discomfort after just a few weeks of use. Among Greenhorne residents, the consumption of motilac supplements has increased 80% over the last seven years. Last year, Greenhorne’s five hospitals reported fewer cases of serious gastrointestinal disorders than any year on record. Meanwhile, sales of motilac supplements are declining in the neighboring town of Etolin. Notably, hospitals in Etolin report a steady increase in the last two years in patients experiencing a wide range of distressing gastrointestinal symptoms. The clear explanation of these trends is that motilac is effective in preventing many serious gastrointestinal disorders."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument that motilac supplements will be the panacea for all the gastrointestinal distress of the citizens of Etolin is flawed for many reasons. The argument assumes that the citizens of both cities are equal in every regard without taking into account how just one difference between the population could change an entire treatment plan.
First off, the diet of the two ciites may be drastically different. The citizens of Greenhorne may consume a far more well-rounded diet than the citizens of Etolin. Likewise, the citizens of Etolin may have a far more caloric diet that may help lead to gastrointestinal distress. By assuming that the two cities were the same in this respect, the argument jumped to its own conclusion that the two cities were similar in every respect and therefore reccomends the same drug to treat both cities. Even if the argument mentioned the dietary practices of the two cities, it still would not account of the overall fitness of the two cities. Those who exercise have all around better physiological function, including that of the gastrointestinal system. If Etolin does not exercise as much as their neighbors in greenhorn, they would also be at greater risk of gastrointestinal distress than their neighbors.
The second assumption the argument makes is that the two cities are of the same economic standing. If Greenhorne consumes more motiliac supplements, it could be due to their ability to purchase these products. Dietary supplement are very expensive and are often viewed as a luxury by many in the health in fitness industry. If motiliac improves gastrointestinal function, those with little financial stability may not see those benefits. Therefore, if Etolin is not as financially stable as Greenhorne, they are less likely to consume motiliac to improve their gastrointestinal distress. Furthermore, if the argument presented the socioeconomic situation of both cities, the argument would still not account for the afinity each city has for taking supplements and medication. Etolin may be a smaller town that prefers home remedies as opposed to corporate backed medications.
If the citizens of Etolin were fond of taking medication, there is no gurantee that motiliac supplements would work for all its citizens. All human being's bodies are different and their tolerance to different medications and treatments vary vastly. The citizens of Etolin may have a genetic dispostition that prevents motiliac supplements from solving their gastrointestinal distress. Consumption of other medications, or even food, can also cause the ineffectiveness of certain treatments, potentially rendering motiliac mute. However, even if this was the case, there are a plethora of other drugs that are on the market that treat gastrointestinal conditions. Doctors at hospitals in Etolin can provide care for their patient's ailments without having to rely on one specific drug. Therfore, motiliac should not automatically be the treatment of choice for the citizens of Etolin.
While the argument attempts to solve an important health issue in a city, it presents its position with many holes and few justifications for its decision. Just becasue one product helps reduce gastrointestinal distress in one population, does not mean it will for another.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 518 350
No. of Characters: 2721 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.771 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.253 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.04 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 161 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.72 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.779 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 156, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[2]
Message: You should probably use 'body'.
Suggestion: body
... for all its citizens. All human beings bodies are different and their tolerance to di...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, likewise, may, second, so, still, therefore, well, while, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2781.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 518.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36872586873 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11673722401 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472972972973 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 875.7 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.9687367062 57.8364921388 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 111.24 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.72 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.12 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0486485876737 0.218282227539 22% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.016322955326 0.0743258471296 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0249410555813 0.0701772020484 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.031626213876 0.128457276422 25% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0133213207104 0.0628817314937 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 98.500998004 133% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.