The following appeared in the Health section of the Greenhorne Gazette.
"Motilac is a substance that occurs naturally in the human digestive tract. Many consumers of dietary supplements containing motilac report significant easing of digestive discomfort after just a few weeks of use. Among Greenhorne residents, the consumption of motilac supplements has increased 80% over the last seven years. Last year, Greenhorne’s five hospitals reported fewer cases of serious gastrointestinal disorders than any year on record. Meanwhile, sales of motilac supplements are declining in the neighboring town of Etolin. Notably, hospitals in Etolin report a steady increase in the last two years in patients experiencing a wide range of distressing gastrointestinal symptoms. The clear explanation of these trends is that motilac is effective in preventing many serious gastrointestinal disorders."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
A relationship between usage, purchase, and occurence of digestive disorders -an increased report of residents suffering from digestive disorder and a reduced report of residents suffering from same disorder- led the writer to clearly state that Motilac is effective in preventing digestive disorders. However, the writer’s explanations do not seem to solidify the conclusion. For the conclusion to be valid, certain alternative explanations need to be verified.
First, the writer’s conclusion is based on the assumption that no other factor or food supplement is responsible for the ease of digestive problem. It is possible that the Greenhorne residents are incorporating something else to their food or living a lifestyle different from that of the Etolin residents. Attributing only the high usage of the motilac-based supplement to their reduced case of digestive problems is not sufficient for the conclusion to hold. However, it is key to provide evidence that states that the motilac-based supplement is the only intake by the Greenhorne residents and no other intake or lifestyle.
Also,the writer assumes that the quantity of motilac in the human digestive system is not sufficient to ease digestive disorders. The explanation seems flawed for the fact that Etolin residents were suffering from digestive disorder. For example, If the substance occurs naturally in human digestive systems, Etolin residents might not experience the disorder since motilac has been attributed to ease digestive distress. Furthermore, an explanation that categorically states that trace amount of motilin that occurs naturally is not sufficient to manage digestive disorder is needed to validate the conclusion. Also, explanations that state the approved artificial quantity that augments the natural motilin is needed for the conclusion to stand.
In addition, the sample size for the research does not seem adequate to draw a conclusion. According to the passage, data from only 4 hospitals were used for the Greenhorne research while “notable” hospitals were used for Etolin residents. It does not seem to be a fair proportion of sample size to arrive at the conclusion. Take as an illustration, there is a potential that few residents visit the hospitals at Etolin and maybe the Etolin residents do not really suffer from digestive disorder and see no need to visit the hospital. Therefore, a clear explanation which will serve as an evidence is needed to ascertain that the sample size each from both populations was accurate enough to draw the conclusion.
Finally, the passage is flawed based on certain assumptions. More explanations and evidence are needed to support the fact that Motilac is responsible for improving the gastrointestinal systems. The evidence will help evaluate the passage and arrive at a more convincing conclusion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 440 350
No. of Characters: 2355 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.58 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.352 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.006 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 93 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.179 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 5, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...d no other intake or lifestyle. Also,the writer assumes that the quantity of mot...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, really, so, therefore, while, for example, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2425.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 439.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.52391799544 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12074721907 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.419134396355 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 786.6 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.4571005373 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.25 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.95 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201679978906 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0680361369605 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0822872811033 0.0701772020484 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121430211444 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.085248655132 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.74 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.