"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of this argument claims that citizens of some city or country called Forsythe have been more healthy in their lafestyles recently. In his claim, the author support his ideas with evidences that are questionable in terms of their reliability and veracity. More and different kind of evidences would help to make the argument more realistic and substantiated.
first, the author mentions to a survey that has been made recently that shows that the citizens in their eating habits adopted more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago, without mentioning to the number of people who participated in that survey and also, he didn't give any insight about the kind of questions asked in this survey. Consequently, we can not know how trustworthy the results of such a survey will be. For example, if such a survey took place in an area that is surrounded by many sports clubs, the participants will be more likely to be healthier than the average of the population of the city. also, the kind of questions asked and the way they are asked always affects the way the participants answer.
Furthermore, the author compares the extent to which the citizens confomed to the nutritional recommendations now and ten years ago. And seeing that they conformed more in recent years he directly concluded that they now have more healthy lifestyles, which is not by necessity true. Improvement in complying to a specific nutritional recommendations is not always an indicator for healthier lifestyles, as health is determined by other things that are as important as nutriotion, such as sports and psychological health.
Finally, the author mentions a substance called kiran and is relying on a fact that the sales of food containing this substance has increased, given that a scientific study show that this substance reduces cholestrol. Not mentioning any other aspects of the nutritional value of this substance. For example, sugar is really important for the brain processes, however, using it excessively might cause diabetes. In this context, we can conclude that a substance might be a two sided arrow, and has pros and maybe, more dangerous cons.
In a conclusions, the evidences used by the author might seem at the first glance reasonable and one can draw such conclusions looking at them., but further investigations and evidences are needed to make these conclusions more reliable and veracious.
- TPO 06_ Integrated Writing 3
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 1999 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.01 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.9 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.807 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.621 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent more realistic and substantiated. first, the author mentions to a survey t...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 6, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...ore realistic and substantiated. first, the author mentions to a survey that h...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 305, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...articipated in that survey and also, he didnt give any insight about the kind of ques...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 656, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
... average of the population of the city. also, the kind of questions asked and the wa...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ects the way the participants answer. Furthermore, the author compares the ext...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 340, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'recommendation'?
Suggestion: recommendation
... in complying to a specific nutritional recommendations is not always an indicator for healthie...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h as sports and psychological health. Finally, the author mentions a substance...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... pros and maybe, more dangerous cons. In a conclusions, the evidences used by ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a conclusion' or simply 'conclusions'?
Suggestion: a conclusion; conclusions
...d maybe, more dangerous cons. In a conclusions, the evidences used by the author might...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, really, so, for example, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2045.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 398.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13819095477 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97200072568 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502512562814 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.6808682499 57.8364921388 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.333333333 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5333333333 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.93333333333 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362140218697 0.218282227539 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105387473599 0.0743258471296 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113611091316 0.0701772020484 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.172190215356 0.128457276422 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126841546592 0.0628817314937 202% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.