The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
According to the business magazine, there is a relationship between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. It is said that companies which have had more profits, they have had people who sleep no more than 6 hours. So, for more profit, companies should hire people who sleep less than 6 hours. This argument has some weaknesses that I will mention in my essay.
The magazine has not said how many men and how many women have been in the research exactly. It only has said that 300 males and females. How many were males or how many were females? It has also failed to provide accurate statistical figures about this subject. How they know that other factors have not affected the performance of executives. Other factors such as salary, job satisfaction, and the work atmosphere. Has the only sleep hours affected the performance of executives? There is no evidence about how they do this research. Are they sure that the method used is correct? Based on what figures they believe that there is a relationship between sleep hours and the success of companies.
It has been said that executives who reported needing no more than 6 hours had more benefits for the companies. Only 300 people have been checked. So, the question is that the role of other people with more than 6 hours of sleep should be ignored. whether all successful people only sleep less than 6 hours? Considering such a factor for hiring people cannot be reasonable.
To summarize, in my view for hiring people, there are more important factors that should be considered. Also, more research should be done for this argument. Additionally, more statistical figures should be provided to strengthen the argument.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-21 | sapana | 63 | view |
| 2019-12-25 | stevewang1007 | 69 | view |
| 2019-12-25 | lan122333 | 50 | view |
| 2019-12-16 | ken10091995 | 69 | view |
| 2019-12-01 | sandeshbhandari2 | 63 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 293 350
No. of Characters: 1384 1500
No. of Different Words: 132 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.137 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.724 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.458 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.818 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.286 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 249, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
...han 6 hours of sleep should be ignored. whether all successful people only sleep less t...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, so, then, such as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 21.0 55.5748502994 38% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1432.0 2260.96107784 63% => OK
No of words: 293.0 441.139720559 66% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88737201365 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13729897018 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5917541326 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 133.0 204.123752495 65% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453924914676 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 705.55239521 63% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.5983284133 57.8364921388 46% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 65.0909090909 119.503703932 54% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.3181818182 23.324526521 57% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 1.59090909091 5.70786347227 28% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.120230808917 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0443458388416 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0537986901491 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0726613658477 0.128457276422 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0453052941167 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.3 14.3799401198 58% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 48.3550499002 138% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 12.197005988 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 10.19 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 98.500998004 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.