An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The recommendation by an international development organization is to increase the cultivation of a new breed of millet which is higher in composition of vitamin A than already existing one. The recommendation is based on the studies revealing a deficiency of vitamin A among people in impoverished nations of tagus. The argument is not backed by sufficient data and records. hence the implementation of such a practice might not lead to useful results.
The claim is that a new breed of millet high rich in vitamin A has been engineered. Since the breed is newer one, we do not know the results of its cultivation in the areas of tagus. There can be differences in the weather requirements for the cultivation of the new breed of millet compared to the older one. Perhaps, the nations of tagus may not have suitable weather or land conditions for the newer breed. also, we cannot ascertain the efficacy of the new breed of millet high on the population of tagus. it might happen that the results may not turn out that helpful in mitigating vitamin A deficiency in the people of tagus.
Moreover, it is also likely that the farmers of those nation do not want to adapt the newer breed of millet. they might be reluctant to spend more money on the cultivation of newer breed of millet as it is stated that the cost of seeds for the newer breed is more. hence we cannot predict the outcomes of adapting such recommendation in the nation. we cannot predict if the farmers of the nation will willingly accept the change. Had something been mentioned about how the people of the nation are excited for the change, or how some farmers have already adapted the change the argument have had a better plausibility.
it is stated that millet is a staple food in tagus. this might be an overall data. it might happen that the nations of tagus which are impoverished and lack in vitamin A do not consume millet as readily as other nations of the same country. So, even if a newer breed of millet is introduced, which is richer in vitamin A, it would not necessarily benefit in eradicating the vitamin deficiency in the impoverished nations. As those nations are not likely to consume millet on a large scale. also, even if they do consume millet it is not guaranteed that they will adapt the newer breed. OT might happen that the newer breed differ in taste which reduces its liking among the people. hence, we cannot assure the adoption of newer breed of millet among the people, especially the impoverished ones.
The argument has made a recommendation to substitute a breed of millet in nations of tagus by a new breed developed. it claims that this would help in reducing the vitamin deficiency among the people. But we understand from above mentioned points that the recommendation is not backed by strong evidence. hence, the results of implementing the change cannot be ascertained to be as positive as they are claimed to be.
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2019-09-22 | PrincewillOkosun | 50 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 318, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...eople in impoverished nations of tagus. The argument is not backed by sufficient da...
^^^
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
... backed by sufficient data and records. hence the implementation of such a practice m...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: hence,
... backed by sufficient data and records. hence the implementation of such a practice m...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...or land conditions for the newer breed. also, we cannot ascertain the efficacy of th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 510, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...millet high on the population of tagus. it might happen that the results may not t...
^^
Line 9, column 49, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this nation' or 'those nations'?
Suggestion: this nation; those nations
..., it is also likely that the farmers of those nation do not want to adapt the newer breed of...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 110, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ant to adapt the newer breed of millet. they might be reluctant to spend more money ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...t of seeds for the newer breed is more. hence we cannot predict the outcomes of adapt...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: hence,
...t of seeds for the newer breed is more. hence we cannot predict the outcomes of adapt...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 350, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...ting such recommendation in the nation. we cannot predict if the farmers of the na...
^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...nt have had a better plausibility. it is stated that millet is a staple food ...
^^
Line 13, column 53, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... that millet is a staple food in tagus. this might be an overall data. it might happ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 84, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...n tagus. this might be an overall data. it might happen that the nations of tagus ...
^^
Line 13, column 169, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ch are impoverished and lack in vitamin A do not consume millet as readily as other ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 423, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...deficiency in the impoverished nations. As those nations are not likely to consume...
^^
Line 13, column 491, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...ely to consume millet on a large scale. also, even if they do consume millet it is n...
^^^^
Line 13, column 683, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ch reduces its liking among the people. hence, we cannot assure the adoption of newer...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 118, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ions of tagus by a new breed developed. it claims that this would help in reducing...
^^
Line 17, column 306, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ation is not backed by strong evidence. hence, the results of implementing the change...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, moreover, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.4196629213 145% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 58.6224719101 126% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2441.0 2235.4752809 109% => OK
No of words: 513.0 442.535393258 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75828460039 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77699315207 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.37037037037 0.4932671777 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 786.6 704.065955056 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.2333247672 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4074074074 118.986275619 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0 23.4991977007 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.44444444444 5.21951772744 28% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 7.80617977528 243% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.460956692989 0.243740707755 189% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134496221855 0.0831039109588 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0833935480112 0.0758088955206 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.276519571273 0.150359130593 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0407460991259 0.0667264976115 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 14.1392134831 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.29 8.38706741573 87% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 100.480337079 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.